My Kid: Let me get the car door for you mommy.
Neighbors Kid: Oh, I can't go to McDonalds Playlands. I'm not allowed. One time someone left a hypodermic needle in the playland tunnel and a kid was pricked and died of AIDS.
Me: Seriously? Who told you that?
Neighbor's Kid: My mom. I'm not allowed. I can't go.
Ok, it takes a lot to keep a kid from McDonalds even with a parental ban. And this tactic was either genius or nuts. For the sake of neighborly peace I'm going to assume that my neighbor does NOT believe in the HIV needle story and has created a new and fabulous urban myth parenting technique.
- Be sure to flush your poopy down or the Sewer Alligators will come up for a snack!
- Mommy would wash the floor, but the Swiffer wet wash might kill the dog. Just walk around the sticky spots.
- Wash your hair or the bugs will move in and eat your brains.
- No! You can't buy that expensive Spiderman jacket, it wasn't made in the USA so there is a snake living inside ready to bite you till you die!
- Put the Bubble Yum back baby, it's filled with spider eggs.
- 5 second rule! You can still eat your cookie sweety. (Hey, I do use this one!)