Atkins and Preschool

I need to stop declaring myself because I think it prompts me to do the exact opposite. "I'm on Atkins" drives me towards the nearest bowl of cereal. I've got to figure out what's gonna work for me. That or get some adult ADD medicine so I can actually stick to whatever I decide to do!

I was leaning over the tub to circulate the bubbles for my kids when my son said. "Mommy your butt is huge. Like really really really really big. Like (spreads out hands as far as he can) this big! Do you need to go potty?" I replied, "Well your daddy likes it that way" knowing full well that this would be later questioned at the dinner table. Later that night, "Daddy, why do you like mommy's butt?" (snort). I of course broke into Sir Mix A Lots famous diddy immediately.

But still, it's getting a little too large and in charge. I know this because son had his first day of preschool and I had to sit in those teeny tiny preschool ch
airs while I learned about snack days, holiday parties and the extra accident clothes we need to bring.

We are so excited for preschool! I felt like a real mom when I signed up to host the Valentines party and put my name down on the Field Trip list. The preschool teachers were wonderful, and I loved that they said "A child will get bitten, punched and otherwise knocked down. It's normal." and then explained how they would handle it. The class has 11 boys and 6 girls so you know all the MOB members (mothers o
f boys) were sweating it out wondering if their child would throw the first punch.

When I signed son up for preschool the teacher asked if I needed to cry. "With joy?" I asked, thinking of the glorious 2 hours, twice a week that I would be enjoying. Since that's daughter's nap time we may well be prostrate in the minivan at the nearby Starbucks parking lot. But how glorious to not have to listen to "Crash, bang, aaaaah!" for a few hours. Of course I was wrong, I did get weepy for the little guy. Preschool is the entryway to bonafide big kid land.

While I look forward to sparring with the soccer moms when he's 8, the realization that I will never get my fuzzy headed little man back is starting to sink in. He's all limbs, so long and lanky. I try to smoosh him up into a little ball when I cuddle him. He won't let me call him "My little teddy bear" or "Mama's baby guy" when we cuddle anymore so I have to whisper it softly. When he demands to know what I just said I cover with, "My big tough pirate" and "Mama's big, like super big, guy".

Sadly, the dentist apointment awaited son after preschool. He got two caps on his back teeth. They shine like a grill. He came out of the back room at the dentists (they don't allow parent's to come back with the child) looking like he had been in a prize fight with two swollen cheeks. I swear they give the kids a hit of the laughing gas before they bring them out because they all look teary eyed and stunned silent. The bad mommy moment whomped my stomach as I realized
3 1/2 year old son has now had 2 different sets of stitches and his back two teeth have rotted out.

Raising son has been a hard road. He had febrile seizures frequently for most of his second year of life. (We've watched the poor dude go through so many tests it's heartbreaking) As a result he has been pretty clumsy and often falls and hurts himself. He's also a boy daredevil so I'm forever tailing him with a bottle of bactine. Son was not a sleeper. He had acid reflux for the better part of his first year and would only sleep if one of us held him upright in a chair all night. I think the rough times have made us bond faster and cling to each other more. But they are also exhausting and part of me is looking forward to having some breathing time away from him. Time to let my shoulders drop and unclench.

Daughter has been guiltily easy. I've been warned that when she gets older it will be a barrage of "I hate you mom" and door slamming. But for now she is quiet and lovely. 1 year old daughter will grab a handful of tiny board books and walk her gunslinger walk over to the dog's bed. She'll plunk down by our dog and read books with her feet in the air for the longest time. She wants to cuddle and can actually lie still on my lap. She approaches tasks with thoughtfulness. On her first birthday she was unsure of how to touch the cold icecream cake so she nibbled it face first. The difference amazes me. But it also makes me realize how tense I have been since our son was born.

When I try to talk about how much easier daughter is with other moms I often get shut down. "Oh, well son is wonderful!". Of course he is. He is my first baby love, my world. He's also exhausting, expensive and very much work. But to say this outloud makes people uncomfortable. As if saying something is so much work I'm saying I love him less. Which of course couldn't be further from the joy he bring us.

I am looking forward to meeting some MOB members. My extended family has almost exclusively produced girl babies. Much to my husband's dismay son has been dressing in tutus since he was 1. So he is also glad for the male company preschool provides. One preschool mother yelled, "Yo, Julian put that tongue back in yer mouth!" I don't think she will become my BFF, but it's nice to hear someone else be on high alert too.

Lastly, husband came through for my birthday at last. He and the kids raided the dollar store for birthday tablecloths, candles and batman party horns. They set up the breakfast table with a cake and decorations and woke me up to celebrate. It was perfect. Sniff.


jen said...

It is difficult...the letting go. Jake starts Kindergarten this year...and Paige is headed into Pre-K. All of a sudden...they look like little people. Not my wheeling kiddos. Jake actually has muscle tone and Paige has outgrown every piece of clothing we just bought at the beginning of summer.
There are times I long to be alone...but then...there are times I want to keep them just the way they are!

Betsy Wasser said...

Happy birthday from another MOB. Every time I get the call from daycare that some kid bit my son (aka "His friend chose to bite"), I breathe a prayer of relief that it wasn't my son who did the biting... this time.

Sky Wench said...

I was so proud for my son to start preschool. My mother had been the preschool music teacher there once upon a time so naturally I felt like a VIP when he started school, being a LEGACY and all.
When class dismissed on the first day, the teacher asked to speak to me. I assumed it would be to ask about my mother and tell me how smart my son was. I couldn't have been more wrong. She asked if my son had bitten other people before. I said noooooo - he's never done anything like that (except for chomping on me like a teething ring since about 8 months, this was generally the truth). My angel, on the first day of school, bit the music teacher's daughter on the leg without any provocation. They were sitting in circle time and he just bent down and bit her leg.
So, when they warn you that someone will be bitten, believe it.

chicaloungin said...

I'll be visiting the lil' devils and said sister above... will get my fill of auntie snuggles and perhaps a few good lines about butts for my blog.

Then again, I may lecture the kids about the way Katherine Anne Porter guides her readers through time warps or how Philip Roth counterpoints characters.

Yes, yes. A literary weekend with the bambini.

Lotta, please tell me that meat is not for real.

Tuna Girl said...

It doesn't make ME uncomfortable. I totally understand. My son is so much easier than my daughter ever was. It's hard to believe they both came out of the same womb.

Doesn't mean Ilove one mroe or less. But I do love them different. They're different kids, after all.

Oh! And I celebrated when they both started preschool. Seriously. Celebrated. ;-)

Lotta said...

Jen - is it wrong that I love my sons wee muscles? They are so cute! I'll be ok till he loses the soft baby skin. Sigh.

Betsy - Know the feeling! Plus son is the "minister's grandson" and this is a church preschool so I'm really sweating it!

Sky Wench - Thanks for stopping by! Yes, son has already done this once at day camp. It was very strange, the mom's were like "there's the biter!" when they would see son. He did it once man! I'll bite you if you keep giving son dirty looks. Grrrr.

Chica - It's an Aunt's duty to mess with her kids. 20% Pork 80% unknown!!!

Tuna - Cheers. I am so looking forward to the time. Friend Carol gets to put her kid on the bus. The bus! That pulls right in front of her house each day. Hey Jealousy!