What we've got here is a good news bad news situation

So...husband is working all weekend. He's been working a lot of overtime lately and I'm home staring at the walls and floors that need a little TLC. Never one to wait for, well to wait at all, I decided I would take on some home projects on my own.

First up was a crack in the front steps. When we moved in 6 years ago it was a wee crack and it has since expanded to a raccoon accessible hole. Husband doesn't want to fix it because, "it will just crack again in a year or two" since it needs to be replaced altogether. Riiiight. So when my next door neighbor said her father could take care of it for me for the cost of the materials and a gift certificate to his favorite restaurant I was all for it.

However, I forgot to calculate that since my neighbor is in her late 50's her father was in his early 80's. When this 84 year old Polish man comes to our home with a bag of cement over his shoulders it was a bit startling. "You vant I fix dat? I fix dat. It may crack. I do my best to fix dat." So when husband came home to find a senior citizen (albeit a very buff one) working on the crack in the front step that I have had on his list for 6 years I actually felt sorry for him. "Would you like to remove your balls here or do that inside?" I asked. Needless to say husband made himself scarce while the older he-man fixed our step. When the step was done husband says, "He really should have skim coated that. I think I can take care of that when the rain stops."

The other task that's been bugging me has been our bathroom floor. Husband did an amazing job redoing our bathroom and keeping it in the style of our 1920's home. (This was back when we had two, count 'em two incomes) On his insistence he built an arched ceiling over the tub, and we scoured many a hardware store getting fixtures that were just so. Mr. Custom then became enamored with these pumpkin colored tiles that he saw on a spec board at work. Granted, they are awesome. We bought matching (custom) pumpkin colored grout to finish them off. "We" being a childless couple with no idea of the massive amounts of urine, poop and mud that a toddler boy can christen a bathroom with.

3 years later the pumpkin colored grout has taken on a dirty that no amount of scrubbing will undo. Tired of begging husband to regrout ("It'll just get dirty again") I went to Home Depot and bought some Acid Wash Professional Grout Cleaner. After isolating the children in a room with open windows, I donned my paper mask and gloves and started scrubbing. After the first pass it was looking pretty damn good.

Of course if one pass got rid of the dirty. Two passes would make it fucking sparkle right? This time I got smart and used a toothbrush to scrub the grout lines. Wow, so clean. So pumpkin colored. So down to the tile spacers. The combo of acid wash and maniacal scrubbing burned through the grout right down to those little white plastic spacers that separate the tiles. Husband comes home and I announce that the good news is the grout looks OCD-clean. The bad news is it's got a whole new "industrial" look to it. Husband checks it out, shakes his head and says "I think I could regrout that this week."


chicaloungin said...

It's a good thing for me that chopping wood is so damn hard, otherwise, the neighborhood might have come home from work to find no houses. Come on out to Oregon, Lotta, and we'll OCD with axes. Verrrrry therapeutic!

Tuna Girl said...

I LOVE it. I absolutely LOVE it.

Anonymous said...

I do stuff like that all the time. 1. Take on task. 2. Totally fuck it up. 3. Bea, at husband while I explain, "But that wasn't supposed to happen." All the while knowing he's gotta make it right now. I bleached orange spots into the carpet not so long ago. Funny now.

Anonymous said...

I meant.
Beam at husband...you know smile devilishly.

Jenny said...

Did you check to make sure the hole was raccoonless before he sealed it up?

PS. I'm getting laminate next week. Maybe we can get a two for one deal?

Lotta said...

Chica - Splitting wood and running. No wonder you can wear those cha-cha dresses.

Tuna - Love you!

Butterfly - It is a tactic I use often I must admit.

Jenny - Laminate? I love it but Mr. Custom would rather live with the crackled old lino while he saves for organic cork floors. Unless...I "intall" it myself. Mmmmmm.

Lotta said...

Meant "install"