Watch my awesomely organized friend Carol cringe

My son woke me up this morning to tell me it was his turn to bring snacks to school today. He's 3 (almost 4). Shouldn't I be the one remembering these things? So we hauled ass to get to preschool with time to buy some overpriced pre-sliced cheese, crackers and juice boxes. Arrived at school and smiled at the teacher who informed me that the tuition check is due, "Do I have it?" she wants to know. "Of course!", I say (I do not).

Then she lets me know how excited they are to be celebrating Mack's birthday in class today. What, w
hat, what? Sonofabitch. His birthday is on the 7th but they are celebrating today. "Did I have the present that he is supposed to bring and share with the class?", she asks? "YES. Yes I do. I do. It's uh, at home. I'll bring it around before snacktime.", I fumble. And that's not a total lie since Target is my home away from home and the toy is there. On the shelf. Waiting for me.

Then she asks, "Do I have those photos developed?" I'm sweating it now, because it's my turn to develop the class photos and the roll is sitting in my car. It actually has been sitting in my car for a week and so I mumble a prayer to Christ that the film hasn't been ruined from the cold snap. "Ooooh, those. I can swing by and get those from Walgreens. I'll bring them by with the gift. Kay?". "Super!", she exclaims.

So I burned rubber to Walgreens, and dropped off the film for one hour development. Quickly bent over and let them do me up the ass since that was less painful than forking over the money for developing my film at lighting speed. Then I did a speed racer over to Target. Found a gift for son to leave at the preschool as a birthday donation and mentally anticipated his squeals of protest when he realizes he has to leave this gift behind today. Back to Walgreens to pick up the film.

Parked outside of the school, I furiously scribbled a check for son's tuition and stuffed his present into a newly purchased bag with tissue paper in the parking lot. Attempted to then casually walk into the classroom to deliver everything.
Went back out to the car and called husband to let him know that I had just spent $175 in an hour in order to give him time to cool down before he leaves for work.

I am so screwed when they start soccer.


Crunchy Carpets said...

Holy crap...

Everyday I walk in trepidation to the pre school... I have guilt over things I haven't done yet or neglected to be in the loop about.

I can't do mom stuff when it involves dealing with other moms and teacher creatures.

Paige said...

I have to say:

1. Wow, shit. And I thought I'd eventually run out of reasons to self-medicate.


2. Seeing the phrase "do me up the ass" that close to a picture of Speed Racer has truly changed my worldview.

Tuna Girl said...

Holy carps! That preschool expects a lot of the parents. Or maybe I'm just spoiled in my nannies-do-everything/we-pay-for-it-so-we-don't-have-to-do-shit preschool. ;-)

Lori said...

There is something so wrong with having to give a present to the class on your birthday!!!!

chicaloungin said...

love the Speed Racer graphic. Never liked watching him as a kid, but feel his urge as an adult. Mainly in "Move the f$&% over people. WHAT? Do you need an invitation (to make that right turn)?!"

Pamplemousse's Mom said...

I so don't look forward to this stuff. I feel enough anxiety when I drop the boy off at day care every morning... which is sad since I've done that, what, all of 3 times now?

kfk said...

Now just go to the spa. Sounds like you need it.

Red Rollerskate said...

What?!? All of this, and he is only three? Life is too complicated.