Top 10 things that chapped my ass this week

  1. Overuse of the word Profound. Every day cannot be profound. It can't. I say so.
  2. The phrase, "Loving me some (insert)". Bury it folks. It's over.
  3. Husband's habit of leveling the playing field every time I complain. For example, I bitch that him working insane overtime is hard on me. He says "It's hard on all of us". But I'm talking about ME. Gawd!
  4. The Starving Children in Africa approach to life. If you have something you're dealing with, it's real. It sucks. Just because there is someone else that is missing an arm or doing dishes with their toes doesn't diminish your issue.
  5. The preschool teacher. She's kind of a goody two shoes. There, I said it. Let the lightening strike me down now God.
  6. The fact that I thought I was losing weight because my underwear kept sliding down my ass. I weighed myself today and it turns out the elastic just couldn't handle the added Halloween girth.
  7. That I REALLY want to go to Blockbuster and rent the season finale of Big Love but we have $29.97 in our checking account till the paycheck rolls on through.
  8. I ordered 25 books via our library's new SWAN system. (It's awesome you can request any book you want via the internet and they will be delivered to your library.) And of all those 25 books, which one is sitting on top of my son's Thomas The Tank Engine story? This one.
  9. The minivan is making a noise. Husband says it sounds like this, "bum-bump-brrrrr". I say it sounds like this, "You will be sleeping on your crappy mattress and lighting your stove's flu light on your belly for a long time to come since it's gonna cost $500 to fix this crazy noise I can make. Bum-bump-brrrr."
  10. That I blinked and missed my daughter's first 18 months. Didn't I just bring her home from the hospital last week?

18 comments:

Crabcake said...

Re: #6. Thank you. I walked to work today with one hand shoved down the back of my jeans to hold the sliding skivvies in place.

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

I know. I just. Know.

CrankMama said...

I have $45 dollars until payday so have to wait to get Season 2 of Gray's Anatomy -- I feel your pain, sis.

And my dot's 18 months went by so fast, I too am sad that the wee babe, is now a walking/talking/wrecking crew.... 'snif.

Lotta said...

Sing on sisters.

Jenny said...

I'm profoundly loving me some Lotta. Sorry. Someone was going to say it so I thought I'd just get it out of the way.

You're welcome.

Also, BIG LOVE FAN! You are so my friend.

Lotta said...

Jenny. Jenny. Jenny.

Big Love - Love it! But it scares me cause I kind of see the light with the polygamist lifestyle. I mean at first I thought the whole sharing thing would bother me. But frankly if the husband of the situation could plow away like Bill Paxton does I might reconsider. The ladies seem quite content. Plus free babysitt'n

K A R I™ said...

Drive by comment. I really enjoyed this list

Samantha said...

AMEN to all that!

Mommy off the Record said...

I'm totally loving me some Mom-o-Matic. This list was truly hilarious...and profound!

Domestic Chicky said...

Awesome...

(my word to replace your #1...otherwise, we're all good!)

I totally agree on #10. Just when I get my baby groove on, there's no baby anymore! WTF?!?

Jenny said...

Amen. Plus I adore Margene. I'd totally be her sister wife.

marcy said...

I can't stand Chloe Sevigny, but golly is her portrayal of Nikki fascinating. Hands down the most complex character on television.

Re: #4 Someone was just suggesting the book 50 Days Worse Than Yours. Blah blah blah Titaniccakes.

Paige said...

Absolutely hilarious...and true.

Like you and Crankmama, I just can't believe my little one is 18 months old too.

Kristi said...

My minivan and your minivan have been talking.

chicaloungin said...

#4 Baby. Ditto it a thousand times. A friend of mine brought up the war when I was bitching about my job(s) and no health bennies.

That bastard!

Doing dishes with the toes, Lotta, copyright it. Please.

udandi said...

From the looks of SWAN (did you previously only have a few library branches' collection to browse or did they not have an online catalog? asks the Librarian) Big Love is checked out with only 2 holds. For you and the commenter looking for Grey's Anatomy, get on the holds list, unless you just have to own it.

I hate the phrase "I'm loving..." and I blame McDonalds. Equally annoying is "I'm wanting" as in "I'm wanting to check out Big Love from the liberry." oh look another annoying word ;)

Lotta said...

Udandi - I was thinking I would rent the last tape since when you order Big Love via SWAN you have to request the entire season. I don't want to deprive other Big Love fans since I only need one tape. And lets be honest, I'm into immediate gratification and don't want to wait 3 weeks for it.

Our wee library with it's wee budget could not afford to implement Swan till this year. The selection was poor and so I ended up travelling to other neighboring ones to get the good books. The fact that I can order them up online and pick them up 5 minutes from my home is sooo nice.

Momish said...

My daughter turned 18 months last week. I hear ya!