Meme Assignment 1: Urine

Ok I am officially launching a Meme inspired by Sweet. Southern. Spirited's latest post. She writes about her drunk Halloween husband peeing in the closet.

Back when I went to college there were quite a few drunken pissers on our dorm room floor. There was the girl who would get naked and wander the hallway peeing at random. And of course, the closet urinators. DePaul University's Seton hall had these HUGE closets. Big enough that when we snuck in a boyfriend for an overnight we could drag our twin mattress into the closet and shut the door. The downside being that many drunken students wandered into their closets thinking they were a bathroom. (And as I write this I realize how horny college students are since we still dallied undeterred amongst the pee fumes and dirty laundry in those same closets.)

I, of course never peed anywhere but the toilet and used copious amounts of tee-pee as any self respecting OCD'er would. Until...years later l went out for a girl's night. A wicked shot tossing girl's night. Husband tells me I woke up, walked over to his side of the bed, pulled down my drawers and was just about to water the grass when he woke up to see the moon staring down at him. He moved fast and got me to the bathroom. He tells me I belligerently argued that I was "fiiiine, jussh leave me looone." the whole time. He still married me after this, but maybe that's why he dragged his feet a bit?

So here is the first meme that I launch out into blogworld: Tell us your funny pee stories.

That's it. Not 100 pee stories. Just a few. Do it for the urinators!


Crunchy Carpets said...

Didn't happen to me but a friend of mine was caught with the need late one night out and about.
She hit the little park she was walking beside and squatted at a bush....and then started this rather graceful somersault down the hill that she had neglected to plan for in her dire need..
Somersaultng down the hill....bare butt shining away!

Jenny said...

A friend of mine woke up on his friends mom's new white couch...which he had peed all over after passing out drunk on it. When the mom woke up he begged her to go buy stuff to make him pancakes so that he would have some time to clean it up.

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

My friend peed at a lighted bus stop in the middle of the night one drunk night out. She just squatted and pissed all over the sidewalk.

I pee my pants often, especially when I laugh too hard.

We call Lily's wet, loaded pee pee diaper her "pee bag".

Jen said...

the scene: a dark alleyway in a college town about 15 years ago

the person: me drunk and having to pee

the solution: weave over to the bushes and crouch as much as one can

the problem: very hard to crouch while drunk and stuck in tight-ass jeans

the result: falling into a pile of leaves and twigs

Nothing like waking up the next morning and picking twigs out of your underwear and not really remembering how in the hell they got there...good thing I had friends who weren't quite as drunk as me and remembered the night very clearly...which they then proceeded to tell EVERYONE who would sit for 5 minutes...

Oh, The Joys said...

We call The Mayor by his Native American name in the morning: Big Sacka Wee-a. (Not PC, I know.)

Southern Fried Mom said...

Funny how many pee stories involve being drunk and happen to "my friend." But guess does mine. At our annual girl's beach trip this year, my friend who notoriously can not hold her liquor, had two Bimini Breezes at A.J.'s in Destin. (They will only serve you a maximum of three). Since I was sitting next to her, I was nominated to take her to the potty. Do the words "falling down drunk" mean anything to you? Well, they do to me now!!!! She was in these big chunky sandals, wobbling around saying, "I'm gonna pee in my pants!" Because she could not get them unbuttoned. I was not so helpful, as I was doubled over laughing my butt off.

Also, in college, my husband lived across the street from the most popular bar in town. Nothing like the sound of people pissing on the wall outside your bedroom window, to get you in the mood for love!!!

Ponygirl said...

I was at Dottie's Bar in Atlanta, a total trucker punk dive spot where the doors to the men's/women's bathrooms are right across from the bar and very close to the pool table where I was standing. Some chick in the bathroom opens the door and drunkenly motions for me to come over, so I do. She grabs my arm, drags me into the bathroom, closes the door, and asks me to SNAP HER BODYSUIT FOR HER. I politely declined, but with complete sympathy I talked her through the process of how to snap your bodysuit when you're drunk: you grab the back part, pull it way out between your legs, sit on it, and then take your time putting the snaps together. It worked!

Crunchy Carpets said...

Jumpsuits were the bane of drunk women everywhere in the 80's

i remember sitting on the toilet with my jump suit around my ankles and NOTHING ON and getting a total fit of the giggles....this was in a goth bar run by skin heads.

Lotta said...

I love the PEE stories! And I didn't think I would be getting drunken bodysuit snapping tips!

kfk said...

My sister did that when she visited me up at college. She woke up drunk, copped a squat on the glass table next to my bed and pissed all over it.

andie said...


I didn't realize I started a blogworld storytelling session!

These are killing me. Apparently my husband isn't the only one who does this!

I am SO not telling him I wrote that blog post.

Lotta said...

Why the glass table? Did she want to watch it ricochet?

Andi - you're screwed now girl.

Samantha said...

OMG This is too funny!
On the night before our wedding, soon to be hubby had been out with his friends at the bar, sort of a bachelor party type thing. He was so tore up that they had to carry him in, throw him in the bed and stand and laugh for a good 10 minutes about it! Well, after they left, I went to lay down with him. I had just got good and asleep when I heard a loud THUMP! I rolled over to see what was going on...right into a large, wet, warm spot on his side of the bed...He had peed in the bed, THEN rolled out of the bed, right between the nightstand and the bed. I was so aggrivated that I left him there, I got up, changed clothes and slept on the couch! I still make fun of him now, and that was 3 1/2 years ago LOL