Get your blood of Christ here folks!

My father does the loveliest children's sermons. He calls the children up to the alter where they sit cross legged in a circle. He often passes out little gifts that go along with the sermon. The children leave beaming and carrying away a warm feeling about the church.

So when I saw the Visual Kit For The Blood of Jesus sold as children's sermon accessories I thought it was a joke! But no! Sunday school teachers, step up and get your liquid blood, cat o' nine tails whip and fake blood. And wait that's not all! For $23.95 you can add a sacrifical lamb to your shopping basket because as they say, "It's an absolute MUST for the series on the Blood of Jesus".

And what's with the
Visual Kit for Our Amazing God kit list. It includes;

Mold of Human Brain
Two 15 "Visible Man Anatomy Kits
8 ft Chinese Tissue Dragon
Mandarin Hat
Chopsticks
Paper Oriental Fan
Disappearing Ink
Camouflage Army hat
Royal Blue Graduation Cap
Diamond Clear Latex Balloons
Ruby Red Latex Balloons
Sheriff's Badge
Nylon Ski Rope
Picture of Unborn Baby
Jesus Clothing for a Ken doll
(Doll not included)
White Cloth for Holy Spirit model

Devil Mask
Two False God Masks


I assume the nylon ski rope is to tie up the nonbelievers till they come over to the other side. But the chopsticks and Mandarin hat confuse me?

And lastly, what happened to the nice smiling Jesus with the beard and outstretched hands? Apparently, he's ticked. Cause you can also get a flaming bible to scare the sin'n out of the youngsters.

I'm so glad dad just sticks to Popsicle stick crosses.

Thanks to Neatorama for the discovery of the Jesus kits!

7 comments:

Rhonda said...

A flaming bible would scare the sinning out of me. Well, maybe. For a few days anyway.

PamKittyMorning said...

This alternately cracks me up and scares the crap out of me. Thanks for adding me to your blog roll. I love your blog, you totally crack me up.

Paige said...

Lotta, I'm not sure whether this makes me want to go to church and repent or just have a drink and forget about it...

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

Yikes. That would scare the crapola outta me NOW!

I hope your dad keeps far away from that kit.

latebloomer said...

HOLY crap!

lildb said...

I'm scared and all I did was read the list of included parts.

holy crikee.

Jenny said...

I love you, Lotta.

Seriously.