Part Time Hysteric

I started doing some part time work recently and there is now a lovely lady, let's call her Dena, that's watching the kids 2 to 3 days a week while I work. Her home seemed happy, her references were outstanding and yet I feel like a total snob for not being in love with her.

Dena smokes. Not around the kids, but when they come home they smell smokey from being in her house. When I picked the kids up tonight she was drinking a glass of white wine. It was almost 6pm. But really, couldn't she wait another hour till all the kids were gone? And she told me she "tapped" my daughter's hand today when she poured a plate of spaghetti on her white bedspread. Now I can see why the noodle incident would make a person flip out. But why was the one year old not in a high chair when eating a bowl of red pasta?

I keep talking myself down because the kids seem pretty happy. My daughter is actually ecstatic about going to her house. She kissed her goodbye and you would have thought I dropped her off at a kegger the way she was whoop'n and holler'n when we got there this morning. My son is a bit moody about it, but he's a little moody about pretty much anyone but mommy or daddy taking care of him.

So what's my point? I really don't know. I'm just overwhelmed with the daycare experience. It's only for several days a week. And let me stress how much I love what I'm doing right now. I love it! It's so nice to smell good and use my brain. But I didn't realize how much I would miss nuzzling their heads whenever I needed a fix. Ugh. Ok - I'm going to take a bath, a Xanax and my new vampire book to bed. And I plan to bring the kids to bed with us tonight because I need to feel their cold feet on my back so I'll appreciate that time away again.

18 comments:

HeatherinBeautifulBritishColumbia said...

Oh, this is hard to comment on - the sitter doesn't sound perfect - she should NOT be drinking if your child is still there - and YOU are paying the bill........ I'd be scouting out a few more places before long....

Peta said...

Lotta, she doesn't sound good to me. No way should she be "tapping" the hand of a one year old. One, it is against the law here, two, a child that age has no understanding of right and wrong. If the kids stink of smoke she has to be smoking around them no matter what she is saying to you.

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

I don't know. I just say..trust your instincts. If you feel something is off, then it is. I would start looking for someone else. Just my opinion.

I hope you figure it out soon.

butterfly girl said...

I don't think you were asking for an opinion but you are getting one. I had to weed through sitters for my two oldest and it was not fun. I think by just the little that you said that she is no good. Also if the smoking bothers you let me tell you that even if she steps outside it is still on her clothes and is actually almost as bad as if she would just smoke in front of them. Your instinct is already telling you it doesn't sound good. I am only trying to help out, I hope I didn't offend. Good Luck!

Jonathon said...

I'd agree with above -- trust your instincts. When we were looking for daycares, we found there were A LOT of people working out of their home, some awesome, caring, certified, etc...and some scary.

It seems stressful, but I'm sure you'll figure it out!

Anonymous said...

Too many RED FLAGS. Many counties offer resources and referrals for childcare. maybe a quick call to your local human services dept? It will all work out. I'm glad you found something you enjoy so much.

Oh, The Joys said...

I'm with the rest. Move on. She shouldn't be drinking while watching your kids.

Dawn said...

All I can say is, ditto! while reading what was going I was thinking to myself, need to find someone else. I'm with you, why wasn't your little one in a high chair while eating? And drinking with the kids around? Excuse me that just doesn't fly!! Sorry I'm off my soap box!! go with your gut feelings. (mines telling me find someone else and that I need more chocolate!!)

PamKittyMorning said...

Having already been down this slippery slope I'll just wish you good luck. I definately know what it's like to start enjoying the outside work and feeling torn.

I guess my question about the spagetti is, not so much the high chair but why is she in a bedroom eating? Weird huh?

Good luck Lotta.

karrie said...

Just adding my "trust your instincts and shop around for a better situation" to those who posted before me. Too many red flags here for my comfort.

Bee said...

Hmm... no I would not be happy. The food on the bedspread thing was confusing - how on earth would that happen if the child was being watched? I would not be happy with the smoking smell at all and no way on the wine b4 pickup time! What if your child had an accident and had to be driven to the doctor?

Paige said...

As someone who has struggled mightily with the daycare thing, I know exactly where you're coming from. Great references or not, it's no small thing to hand over the keys to your kids. There are certain things that should be expected, like showing up on time, keeping them entertained and safe, and not freaking drinking before you come to retrieve them.

Lotta said...

Ok - you all have given STELLAR advice and support and I can't even express how much that has meant.

Here is my action plan. I'm going to be direct with the lady. Tell her under no circumstances do I want any hand tapping or otherwise and call her on the wine.

Then, I'll start looking around. She only watches the kids one more time and then I have a break where I can search a bit more. I know they aren't in danger with her I'm just realizing she's not who I want to leave the kids with long term.

Ugh. So stressful. I really take my hat off to working moms. So much more crap on your plate!

Jenny said...

Crap. How did I miss this whole thing.

I love your plan of action. She's doing a job and getting paid for it. There's no job you can keep that will allow you to drink on duty. Simple as that.

That being said, no daycare is perfect. Mine does weird stuff all the time that I think is insane.

Lotta said...

Jenny - Thanks. I may find that I love her after meeting the other choices, but everyone is right. Too many red flags not to look. Let's hope she is a straight up lady and responds well to my "advice".

Red Rollerskate said...

So Lotta, what is the latest? Any new things?
My concern when reading your post -- she wasn't concerned about you "catching" her drinking, she readily admitted to "patting" your daughter's hand (which probably means it was an actual slap). If she is open about this stuff, what is she hiding? Does that make any sense? I would be concerned.
You gotta have someone who you can trust... who, even when you aren't looking for all those hours of the day, you just know she is a good person. You know???
I would start looking around, pronto. There are lots of good people out there!
Sorry, that was unsolicited advicec. Hope you didn't mind. Good luck.

Lotta said...

Red - That is wonderful advice. Especially coming from a daycare lady such as yourself! I have a meeting with a new daycare person (someone in nursing school) right after Christmas. If she is a sweet as she sounds on the prequal phone interview we are switching to her pronto. If not, I will keep looking. I heard of her through a neighbor that I trust. Wish me luck!

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