1/2 cup skim milk
2 Diet Dr. Peppers
8 oz. Ice water
1 Freshly laundered outfit
Restrict all foods for several days prior to starting this recipe. Begin with a fresh shower and blow dry. Add pantyliner and panties while hopping on one foot toward daughter who has gotten your Wellbutrin out of the diaper bag. Comfort injured son awkwardly and unsatisfactorily by patting his head since you are braless. Surrender all privacy by cloistering children in your bedroom while putting on bra and clothing so no bodily injury befalls them.
Be sure to drink the above listed beverages liberally all the while. Place sneakers on feet and walk towards the room that was sacrificed to the Tasmanian toy devil so that you could shower. Bend over to pick up toy. SNEEZE. Urinate yourself thoroughly. Repeat.