Today, I was standing in line at the JCPenney waiting to buy a chunky red bead bracelet for my upcoming 80's Ladies Night Out. (Oooooh yeeea). I had son and daughter with me when I smelled the most horrific fart I could imagine. I pretended to bend down and tie my shoe so I could perform a subtle assniff on daughter. She was clear.
A few minutes passed and again the horrible smell wafted by. It was gaggingly awful and I was now convinced that the woman ahead of me (who had grown increasingly silent) was toot'n her booty off. I made an excuse about seeing an open register and bolted.
While waiting in the new line the smell again assassinated my nostrils. This time I looked down to see son with a big grin on his face. That's right. Son was creating these mushroom clouds. It dawned on me that the woman at the previous register must have thought I dealt it and ran.