Crabby Mama

"Play! Isn't that what your people do for Christ's sake?"

Comment made after asked for the 10th time to supply sippy cups of apple juice and television shows for son and daughter. It's only been a month and a half of working outside the home for 3 days a week and I already forgot how hard it is to be home every day with your children. I miss them terribly and feel like opportunities to mold and bond pass me by every day I'm at work. And yet....when I'm home I find that a toddler and a preschooler are an annoying combination. The toddler walks around crying. All day. Crying. I'm ready to give her some of my Wellbutrin! It's that pre-speaking phase when she can't articulate what she wants. And yet she is very adamant that she gets EXACTLY what she wants and how she wants it. Son alternates between bringing daughter pacifiers and tripping her when my back is turned.

Oh my God stop. Just stop. You don't need every single toy you own on the floor. Take one, play and the put it back. Is that really that difficult to master?

Me talking to a 4 year old. Clearly I've been hitting the Nyquil too long if I think this conversation will end any other way then me giving him a sippy cup and a show to make up for being a mean mama. Usually I'm on my knees, at eye level, calmly explaining my rules or position to the kids. I'm pretty good at it. But every so often I feel the need to growl just to prove that I still can. It's tiring walking around with bluebirds on your damn shoulders all the time.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Please stop asking me questions. Really. Please. Stop talking for like 5 minutes. I beg for 5 minutes of no talking. Ok?

Off to get the cup and show again.

12 comments:

butterfly girl said...

It never fails they start firing off demands and out of the blue questions right as my favorite show(s) come on. Or when I'm trying to find the huge error I made at the bank. Point=you are not alone. I love'em but they talk and cry too much. A mother needs her veg time.

Lotta said...

Butterfly - Amen!!! Too true. They are playing happily and then they sense your attention has been diverted to a blog post, (or as you say) bank balance or show and BLAMO. They do everything in their power to regain your focus.

mommiebear2 said...

My biggest peeve with the munchkins is phone time. I dont even see them in sight but as soon as I try to have a conversation on the phone, they're saying mama a 1000 friggin times, pulling on my clothes, crying, hurting each other, etc. I usually have to either lock myself in the room and try to ignore the kicking and banging from the other side or politely tell person on the phone I have to go now and hurt my children.

Oh, The Joys said...

Too true!
"Why is that the sky?"
How the hell am I supposed to answer that?

Deanna (domestic chicky) said...

ha! I am so there on the phone thing...it's like they have readar for the split-nanosecond that line is opened...

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

Here's the song we sing around our home: "After you play you put it away, before you play you put it away..." It works. To a point. Then we have a playdate, and all hell breaks loose...like the forbidden fruit of leaving toys linger has been tasted.

Dysd. Housewife said...

Ditto on the phone thing. ALL day long- trains, movies, building blocks, Mommy who? Then the MINUTE I speak in an adult voice into a reciever, he glues himself to me wailing, singing, smacking etc.. WTF?

Stephanie mama drama said...

My oldest nephew went through the longest, "'Cause why?" phase in the history of creation.

Feelin' your pain, sister.

Mamma said...

My mom used to beg us to call her by any other name than mom.

Today...I totally understand why.

Little Monkies said...

MAAAAMAAAAAA...MA MMMMMAAAAAA... MAMA! MONKEY, STOP WHINING! Mama? Yes, Monkey? Ummmm. Ummmmm. Ummmm. Ok, Monkey, talk to me when you know what you want to ask me. MAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. MONKEY, STOP WHINING...

Queen of the Mayhem said...

The other day, I told Junior Mayhem not to talk to me because I was mad at him. (I realize this is an infantile way to handle things, but I had a terrible day at work, we were stuck in traffic, AND he got written up AGAIN at daycare. ) His response was, " I'm mad at you too!" In case your wondering, his busted lip is healing nicely! :) (just kidding....not that the thought did not occur to me!)

I feel as though right now I am stuck in a bad Calgon commercial!

Jenny said...

I know the feeling. My apology usually comes with oranges and Handy Manny reruns.