All's Fair

Husband saw my Elmooooh post and said that I need to post about my seduction killing habits so that the world would know it wasn't all on him. So here goes...

Things I've been known to say in the thralls of sweet lov'n

I just changed the sheets, kay?
Oh my God, the kids said the cutest thing today!
Don't smell my pits I'm a little ripe, kay?
Do we have waffles?
Do my legs feel hairy, cause I haven't shaved in like a week!

Things I've been known to say post coital

Man, those condoms smell like ASS!
Do we have waffles?
I changed the sheets last time!
Sweetie, maybe next time we could try the Baby Orajel again?

Kay honey?

16 comments:

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

alls fair in love & sex

nikki said...

nothin says "turn on" quite like elmo........

and no, i never thought i would udder those words in my life.

Little Monkies said...

Condoms DO smell like ass (which is my favorite expression in the whole world, btw, given to me by my sister who lived in Chi-town...)

mommiebear2 said...

Were we seperated at bith because I have actually said some of those same things?!?!? Hubby says I am great at "ruining" the mood.

Oh, The Joys said...

Kay. So curious about the waffles.

Ass slot machine waffle action - or is it just MY blog where food and ass get married?

Mamma said...

Remember the days when we just HAD sex. More than once a day...

Yeah, me either.

Lotta said...

Lil - I didn't realize that was Chi town expression! I have been saying it my whole life long though, so that make sense.

Mommie - I think it's the universal mom multitasking syndrome.

OTJ - I'm pretty darn sure that's just your family with the breakfast butt products.

Mama - Yes, but the irony is I enjoy it more now than I did when I was young and getting some more often.

Lotta said...

Janet - True!

Nikki - I thought it was funny how Elmo's arms were thrown over his head, like he got started without us.

Ty said...

When I read the condoms smell like ass, I nearly choked on my Little Debbie swiss cake roll (I know, not good for my diet)!

I can't remember the smell of condoms, it's been years since we've had to worry about birth control. Hubby had the big V when I was pregnant with #3.

Slackermommy said...

You are killing me! I love your hubby's sense of humor.

Leeanthro said...

(Sung to Elmo's theme song)

Elmo loves his condoms,
His KY, too.
That's Elmo's world!

I don't know, a Tickle Me Elmo might liven things up. Could be a good marketing campaign or SNL skit!

Tammy said...

Sorry this has taken me so long, but to respond to your question about the veggie chowder - I don't actually use the hot sauce, but my husband does & it's not added to the whole pot, just to individual servings. Not sure about the heat.

BTW, I'm still interested in the MILFs, just been side tracked and haven't given it a go...YET.

Lisa Fine Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

That's hilarious. Mmmmmmmmm waffles.

Lisa

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I always hate it when Mr. Mayhem feels the need to read my posts! Especially since he would KILL me if he knew I shared the whole Time in a Bottle debaucle with you!

At least you are having sex....it could be worse!

Karly said...

I personally like to ask him to get me a glass of chocolate milk in the middle of our lovin. Nothin better than ice cold chocolate milk and sex. :)

Karly said...

Okay, so when I said I like to ask "him" to get me milk, I totally meant MY husband. Not yours.