Sick Family Makes Me Want To Up My Meds

Daughter and husband are both ill with stomach flu. Daughter has moved on to the fevery sad phase and is no longer throwing up. Husband is lying in the dark moaning and puking.

First Conversation: Son in bath, daughter trying to nap

Me: Ok, son it's time to wash your hair. Please stand up.

Son: No!

Me: Yes dude, we need to get it clean.

Son: (Scoops up a large BUCKET of water and throws it at me)

Second Conversation: 20 Minutes Later

Me: (Poking head in our bedroom) Do you need anything?

Husband: No. The kids are crazy. You are crazy. Keep them quiet. I can't sleep. (Mutters something)

Me: Dude, daughter is sick and son is on day 2 of being told to sit still. Of course they are going crazy. And you knew crazy was on the menu when you married me buddy.

Husband: You guys are insane. Keep them quiet. I'm gonna puke.

That is all. (Laying head down)


karrie said...

Sweet crap, what hot mess!

Hang in there. And go here and vote for yourself, funny lady:


sillychick said...

Dammit, I wish I lived near you...I'd come pick up your son and do whatever you needed.

Sorry your day is a suck.

Tilly said...

Good god, why do motheres always know which buttons to press. Except us of course, we're perfect mummiies.

Suburban Mum said...

That could have easily been a conversation with MY Dad. What is it with parents!!!! (Present company excluded obviously)

Little Monkies said...

Oh my dear. Isn't it always when you need the break in the BIGGEST way that the shit goes down? That totally sucks.

of course, it could be could get hit with a club soda bottle today...

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

Isn't it funny when WE have to be the parents to our parents?

AND. Don't you wish just ONCE. Just ONCE. You could call your kid a little mthrf&*ker? And then use the Men In Black Memory Zap Stick, of course.

But it would be fun while it lasted.

yerdoingitwrong said...

oh wow!! I'm with silly chick. Wish I were closer to help. Still the whole exchange with your folks probably made you feel like crap and I'm soooo sorry, girl. =(

Peta said...

Parents suck. End of comment.

Lotta said...

I wish you all lived closer too! But I wouldn't contaminate your kids this was a nasty virus.

Peta - At times, they do indeed suck.

Ally said...

Hey, I'm new to your blog via Little Monkies and just wanted to say, thanks for the great reads, I laughed out loud several times as I related to this entry and others.

Anonymous said...

i can see why that exchange prompted a call to the therapist. based on that conversation, your parents seem to be highly skilled with the reproaches and guilt-loading and not very well skilled in being honest or taking care of themselves. at the same time, they probably truly want to be helpful--especially when you are feeling overwhelmed--and maybe even feel guilty that they even feel the need to bail out on you. sounds like the problem is in how they deal with their own guilty feelings: by offloading them onto you. sounds like you dealt with it very well and in a very grown-up way, although you shouldn't have to be your parents' therapist. you get lots o' kudos.