Brains, Meat and the Lotta Interview

Wiping Up Snot (love that blog title) gave me a Thinking Blogger award for this post! Thanks so much WUP! May your days be filled with double ply Kleenex.

Also, I started day 1 of Atkins Induction today. And no, I don't just eat meat, promise! Induction includes eggs and veggies too! And it's not as crazy as when my sister Tela did her 10 day Crazy Juice diet! I just can't seem to stick to Weight Watchers because when I eat any carbs or sugar it's like I have no sense of control. My hunger sensors shut down and my brain says, "Why yes, I know you just had a bowl of cereal but wouldn't some bread and butter taste freaking fantastic!" And I answer back like a carb-horny teenager, "Yes! Yes! Yes!". So I'm gonna give Atkins a shot. My hope is to eventually ease back over to Weight Watchers Core, which allows you a limited number of carbs. Cause if I thought I would never be able to eat popcorn again I might just buy the razor scooter and give up all hope.

Lastly, Little Monkies interviewed me! I'm supposed to post the interview here and then ask
who would like to be interviewed by me? Want to be asked intimate questions by someone you don't know? Then leave a Hell Yes! in the comments!

1. My friend Ashley just told me about the time her mother told her that her favorite pet hamster had chicken pox and had to be released into the wild (read, the hamster got "sent to a nice farm"). Do you have any animal stories of this kind that you carry with you today?

Well, there was that time when my sister and I found a dead squirrel in the front yard. We carried it in to show my mom. I'm pretty sure she screamed. But Dad was working as a hospital Chaplain at the time and was able to get his hands on a dissection kit. We pin
ned the squirrel onto a piece of wood and performed a little CSI style autopsy out in the yard. Very exciting. We determined that cause of death was a broken neck.

2. What is your most neurotic and silly fear (family, husband, life…), but the one you
can't get out of your brain?

I always dream that my husband doesn't know who I am. That our entire marriage is just a fantasy life and I'm really living in an asylum somewhere. I think this is because I fell in lov
e with him at age 15, while he waited till he was 19 to see the light. That's a good 4 years of fantasy dating on my part.

3. If you could meet one star who would it be and why?

Tough one. I would love to go on a girl's drinking night with Tina Fey of 30 Rock. She's so funny and witty. And of course we would bring along actresses Amy Poehler and Amy Sedaris. And then pick up writer Laurie Notaro so there would be another snarky brunette to round out the group.

4. What do you struggle with as a woman (person, wife, mother, etc) that you wish
others could talk about more openly?

There is just so much to choose from! I think it's a tossup. There's the fear that if other parent's could secretly videotape my day they would think I was a terrible, lazy mother. They would gasp with horror if they could see that I say "what the hell?" around my kids at least once a day. Or I could go with the fact that I struggle over not liking some other people's children. I pretty much can't stand our neighbor kids. Really dislike them. Talking with my friend and fellow mom Carol is lifesaver. Also blogging helps immensely. When I read Fussy's post on calling a ten year old neighbor girl "on her shit" I felt instantly relieved.

5. Raised "pretty", raised "smart", or other? How did that work in your house?

Ufta. Raised a hippy conservative Lutheran. My mom's slightly horrified that I opted to stay home with the children over being a working parent. She was very liberal. Too liberal in some instances. Like, I really didn't need my own copy of Our Bodies Ourselves with photographs of a gyne exam at age 9. And Dad is a Minster so he has a conservative bent. But they were both very "If it's yellow, let it mellow - If it's brown flush it down" kind of people. They often showered together to "save water" and we had carob chips instead of chocolate. They are sort of a blend of SNL's The Lovers and Stuart Smalley (We were often corrected on our "stink'n think'n") and yet they looked like Rob and Laura from The Dick Van Dyke Show.

6. Most delicious moment…

Without a doubt that moment in the hospital after birth. You're cleaned up, there's an ice pack on your swollen lady bits, the vicodin's kicked in and nobody else is in the room. You get to stare, weep and kiss your beautiful baby while in this safe and sweet bubble. There's no stress because if something should happen you're in a hospital. And there isn't anything you can do but be still and love your new baby.


Domestic Chicky said...

Love this! Especially the description of your parents...explains SOOO much!! ;)

Stephanie said...

Um, okay, since I was SO with you on your most delicious moment, I'll say...

Hell, Yes!

Anonymous said...

Girl, I'm so with you on #4! I know I'm not a failure; but it kills me to hear a mom in my kids MDO class talk about how her kid's got finger paint on his face from this morning. Who is painting before 9am??? My 3 and 2 year old are vegging on the couch watching Dora at that time; because Mom needs her coffee and paper. Of course this is also the mom that's "organic" and shit.
You've got to move to Bham Lotta, you'd have a friend for life!-Bama

mommiebear2 said...

I have been reading a lot of blogs lately that have chosen the topic of "Am I good Parent" - funny thing is I plan on putting my piece out there too.
I am bad about saying "Oh my god" alot, and the kids have started doing it as well. Hubby is trying hard to nip this - his family is VERY religious.

Working Gal said...

So, I didn't get the "Our Bodies, Ourselves," but I got the toned down puberty version, "Changing Bodies, Changing Lives." I was totally cool in my conservative christian Dallas suburb! It made my parents look SUPER liberal!

Great interview!

(by the way, my blog address has changed - if you ever checked it out, or would like to. Used to be www.arizonagreengrass.blogspot, now:

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

Those are great questions but the answers rock!

I love your silly fear. I read a book like that once...I'll hafta get the name of it..long time was similar to that fear...(She was put away in an asylum and she didn't even know she was crazy!!!)

Judi said...

I so love the "what the Hell" thing..... I can see that being used on so many levels! Mine is...... "it's over there ya moron!"........ It's my personal favorite with, "Good God almighty, DUH!". My children are all geen-yusses and ignore these naturally.

I've been voting for ya all week... I read your blog every day and enjoy the humor you put into your thoughts and how you carefully choose what comes out of your mouth. I wish I could! And, Hell yeah! Judi

Nikki said...

I've been leaving my MILF blog a little neglected lately, so I'm gonna give ya a "Hell Yeah" even though it may go unnoticed by anyone else for months.

I get all tingly when people ask me probing questions. :-)

Oh, The Joys said...

GREAT interview - though the carob chips sent me over the edge. Those are just so nasty, no?

Lotta said...

Domestic - It does? Can you come to my therapy session with me and explain it to my shrink.

Steph - You're on! Let me think of some good questions!

Bama - That mom most likely daubed on the finger paint on her kids faces on the way out the door. Or they did the day before and she hadn't washed them up yet. And if they actually were doing crafts before 9am instead of sitting in front of the tv like God wanted them to she's out of her mind. Or will be soon enough.

Mommie - That ain't noth'n!

WG - Clean off your sofa, I'm coming over to visit!

Janet - Thanks! I love that you love my silly fear.

Judi - Are you messing with me? Cause sometimes reading what I've written on my blog the morning after a post makes my head hurt. And you are so sweet!

Nikki - You're on too!

OTJ - Yes, and they drove me right into the waiting arms of refined sugar.

Rapunzel said...

I've been reading your blog for a while now and just have to let you know how much I enjoy it! You make me think and laugh simultaneously, a rare but wonderful combination. :-)

Kelly said...

Liberal mom and a conservative minister dad...that's quite a combo! lol