Don't be a suck, vote for Lotta!

When I was in sixth grade I ran for school President. I made these wonderful posters that said, "Don't be a sucker, vote for Lotta!". The bright posterboards were covered with glued on suckers. The problem was I hyphenated "sucker", so it said, "Don't be a suck". Big scandal. To the sixth grade crowd it was the equivalent of the Monica Lewinsky BJ. "Oh my God she said suck!".

So it is with great apprehension that I put out myself out there to ask for your vote again. But because putting myself into awkward situations is how I like to live my life. La Dolca Dorka! I'm asking for your vote anyways. Please don't be a suck. Vote for me to win a year of paid blogging. That's right, someone would actually pay me to write about shaving my son's head with a cookie trimmer for Bible Camp picture day.

If you vote for me and I win I promise to;
  1. Buy a better camera. One with some video editing software that allows me to slim myself so I can start posting some pictures that include me.
  2. Buy a video camera. Because words can't adequately illustrate my son singing all the words to Fergalicious.
  3. Go to Vegas. I love Vegas. We intentionally conceived our daughter there. She has a onsie with a Vegas Elvis on it. And while my going to Vegas does not directly benefit you, the reader, I'm pretty sure that a Lotta fresh from the craps table is infinitely more interesting than a Lotta fresh from cleaning up actual crap.
  4. Get some Future MILF merchandise to give out. Come on, you know you want a Future MILF sticker on your Weight Watcher's booklet.
  5. Buy some new underwear that doesn't come in a 3-pack. And no, the pictures will not include me in the new underwear.
  6. Fulfill your virtual fantasy. Want me to email you an erotic story about a man who comes over and cleans your house twice a week. And oooh yes, he does the floors. And toilets. It's on!
So don't be a suck. Please vote for me! Best of all, you can DO IT EVERY DAY. And I know how mom's love doing the same thing over and over again every day so this should ROCK!

17 comments:

nikki said...

yes, but three pack underwear are the most comfortable and sometimes....you can find the magical-free-pair-4-pack of underwear. oh the excitement. contain yourself.

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

Voting. Now.

Wendy said...

Okay, I voted. I will vote again and again when I remember. You forgot a very important aspect of motherhood: Forgetfullness.

Wait, what was I talking about.

Oh yeah, I am holding you to that last promise on your campaign poster. I better have an attractive male show up at my door and clean my house while I stay over him and claim he missed a spot over and over again.

Do I not suck, now?

Little Monkies said...

You rock. I love your work because you are about actively creating a community. MILF is a great contribution to the blogosphere. I think you'd deserve every minute of it.

Sherry said...

Lotta,
Okay, okay I voted for you because I din't want to 'suck'. :)

No really I voted for you because you have a great site with great stories. I also love your craftiness.

FYI, I found your site while visiting John and had to check it out.

I'd love for you to join my community at MBL when you have some time, then I'll remember to vote for you more often.

Katie J said...

The word's not back on whether or not I'm a suck, but I did vote for you. Rock on Lotta!

yerdoingitwrong said...

You know you've got my vote!!!

PamKittyMorning said...

I'm totally going to vote because I want to read my fantasy of pretty much anyone coming over to clean myhouse and yell "YES YES YEEEEEEES' over and over again.

Esmerelda said...

I still can't tell my neighbors I'm a MILF wannabe with out blushing a bit...but I was trying to figure out a way to include the logo on my clothes when I run the IronGirl....so please get the merchandise going.

QueenieBadd said...

Totally voted for you. Because it is also my dream to own underwear that did not come in a three pack, or from the "5 for $20" table. And if I can't have this dream, then you should.

Elizabeth said...

OF COURSE I voted! And will continue to do so. Until I read your profile I didn't know you could hear the Brookfield elephants from your house...now I really want to come teach you to quilt. I'd even do a little cleaning for you. But no crap. I'm DONE with crap.
Best of luck to you Lotta!!

mommiebear2 said...

Okay I voted, and will try to remember to do so every day. You rock so you should soooo win.

Southern Fried Mom said...

I'm not a suck, but I play one on my blog. I voted for you. And I will tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day...

Nikki said...

I voted, but I still suck.
Heh.

I love your blog, Lotta, because it's a place I go knowing full well I'll be saying to myself, "It's not just ME???" after I read your posts.

The fact that you can hear elephants from your house (when all I can do is smell cows) fascinates me!

mark said...

I like the campaign slogan. Tomorrow I'm pulling something from my old campaigns in student government out for the blog - I know you'll like it. And as far as the virtual fantasy, I'm not liking the sound of that one. Try again. (-:

Teah said...

Oh Lotta...this is my first time even reading a blog. I was on Amazon looking at swimsuits, went to Google to find some more, and there was your site. How awesome is this??!! You are too damn funny and so refreshingly real. The bathing suit stuff and the kitchen porn were hysterical. I checked out a couple other bloggers with the links on your site...and hands down...you are the bomb! You got my vote girl! I look forward to reading more about you and your family, and I wish you all good health and good fortune!!

Lotta said...

Teah! You da bomb!