Cicada Warrior

Son: (Dropping to the ground and shrieking at an ear shattering pitch because a cicada flew over his head) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh!

Me: Dude, sweetie, it just flew over your head you can get up off the pavement.

Son: Is it on me? Is it on me?

Me: No (laughing) it's not on you.

Son: (Standing up) Oh I know. I was just warning YOU cause I know you're scared of the cicadas. So I went "aaaaah" (does scary jazz hands) just to let you know it was over here.

Me: Thanks dude.

For Father's Day we went to a free concert at The Morton Arboretum's Children's Garden. It was a guy on a guitar singing low key children's music to a small crowd. Everyone was hanging out on the grass, sipping their waters and passing ziplocs of goldfish crackers. The relaxing atmosphere broken only by the intermittent and alarming shrieks son would make whenever a cicada flew near him. Seriously, it was so loud the singer just set his guitar on his lap and waited it out a few times. I think people must have thought we kept poking son with a sharp stick every time they turned back around to watch the concert.

Daughter digs the red eyed monsters and would say "icada! icada!" and then imitate her brother by yelling out a halfhearted "ah ah" and laughing hysterically. Son would try to casually walk over by her as she examined a bug but would inevitably end up shrieking and pushing his sister towards the bug as he made his escape. By the end of the concert he was white and shaky.

We braved the biblical plague a little longer because the kids wanted to catch baby frogs. But eventually the idea of eating a bug free Culver's frozen custard lured us out of the arboretum. As I was buckling the kids into their car seats husband said, "Watch out, incoming, I think it landed on your back." and I shrieked. Cause you know, it was a freaking cicada!


Fidget said...

i am so glad this is one bug plague we in florida dont have to deal with

canarygirl said...

I think I take after son. I would be shrieking, too! YUCK! Here in canaryland we have flying cockroaches. All the time. Wanna see me make a fool of myself? Watch me when I see one. I do some weird assed flailing screaming thing. It happens with bees, too. lmao

Judi said...

I think your Cicadas are like my big huge flying roaches we get here in the south. I lived in a trailer.... yes, it's true...... and would have one trapped in the house every so often. I was always on the lookout. One day I was making the bed and when I was finished I sat on the edge and apparently made a rush of wind...... which in turn made a brown Reese's wrapper fly up in the air off of the night stand..... swear it was a flying roach and almost killed myself getting the hell out of the room.

True story.

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

Dude. I am with your son. I would be UNDER the pavement in fact.

Stephanie said...

Hehe, thanks for the head up. LOL

For the Love... said...

OMG-too funny! My youngest, Magnuts, was scared to death of butterflys. I guess he figured anything that could fly could sting.

Queen of the Mayhem said...

Being from the deep south... I feel Judi's pain about the roaches. You have not experienced true horror until you have seen one of those horrific creatures up close.

I pay good money to a bug man to ENSURE I never see them in my house! ICK!

Cicadas sounds almost as bad....I say almost because I've never seen one in person!

Mama en Fuego said...

We get the 7 year 'locus' in PA and those bastards will fly out of the tree and attack you if you get too close. I hate those things. I swear, first thing in the morning it sounds like someone is shaking mirraca's next to your head the sound is so deafening.

Michael said...

You're so lucky...I have yet to see ONE Cicada here in the city!

JoeinVegas said...

Nice of son to keep warning you like that.
None of those out here in the desert - not many bugs at all. Springtime invasion of the 'water bugs' (other places call them big black cockroaches) is almost over, but we have a bug man that comes monthly and it really keeps them out of the house.

Paige said...

The last time I saw a cicada, I accidentally squished one throwing a softball to a friend.

That was in middle school, some ninety million eons ago.