Husband: (Walking in on bathtime) You know you don't need to give daughter a bath every other day. Once a week is fine.
Me: Um, can we just set the standard now. When I'm old and crapping in my pants twice a day like daughter. I'll be wanting a bath AT LEAST every other day. You might want to write that down.
Later that night...
Me: Dude. Feel me up.
Me: Feel me up man. I'm too chicken to get on the scale and I have to weigh in tomorrow. Grab hold and tell me if you think I'll have a loss.
Me: Do I feel thinner?
Husband: (Pause) What? Mmmm?
Me: I think you've lost the point of this exercise.