Daughter is 2! And she got the memo.
Date: May 31, 2007
From: The Toddler Mafia
Right. There's no nice way to say this. We've taken your bath time Elmo and he won't be returned until we see some serious toddler improvement.
Thus far you have been an embarrassment to the toddler world. You go to bed without any fuss, give out kisses and hugs far too often and worst of all you are sadly lacking in temper tantrum skills.
Get the lead out and start acting like a toddler or Elmo's get'n a pair of concrete boots.
So she picked up her squirt gun and started taking us all out one by one at her birthday party.
And at the zoo today the Dolphin Show announcer cautioned the audience to be very very still and very very quiet because they were bringing out a Hawk. I'm not sure how dolphins and hawks go together, but kay. I put daughter on my lap and the hawk was brought out. Just as soon as the trainer passed our section daughter started squealing, screaming and wiggling like a freaking baby rabbit! I was convinced that bird was gonna take her out. I just about peed myself when the bird decided to swoop directly over her head during the demonstration. (Swoon.) I already refuse to go to the Children's Zoo cause I'm convinced the goats smell my fear and are going to bite me in the ass!
Anyway...we had a Hello Kitty party for daughter at my very generous parent's house. See the cute decorations!
Witness the fantastic Kitty Litter Dig. I buried dollar store jewelry in clean kitty litter with some glitter sprinkled on top. The kids went nuts. I wanted to toss a few unwrapped tootsie rolls on top for authenticity but I forgot to buy them.
We also served the cake and ice cream to the kids in pink sand pails with yellow shovels that they got to bring home with them. Had dollar store sunglasses for the other game prizes and beer for the grownups. It was great day! If only I could have intercepted that damn memo!