The beloved Kevin Charnas, collector of gay Mexican pottery and mommy blogger pinup just wrote a great post about random rage. You should go read it, but basically he loses it when some cranky old man taunts him about dog poop. Maybe there's something in the air cause a few days ago I was uncharacteristically bitchy. And by "uncharacteristically" I mean bitchy to people outside of my family.
I was driving and accidentally signaled that I would be turning right down a one way street. I caught myself before turning, flipped off my signal and did an "oops" wave to the person coming down said one way street. But instead of giving me an "s'alright" wave back the woman continued to scream and shake her fist at me. I'm not sure what came over me but I pulled over, rolled my window down and deployed sarcasm. "You know what I LOVE", I drolled at her, "I LOVE when people don't let you off the f'king hook when you've made a mistake. Seriously. Thank you so much! Can we be like bestf'king friends forever lady!?" And I think I even sneered as I pulled off.
And tonight I was trying to kill the weeds that are springing up in any and all cracks on our sidewalk. The weeds have snaked over from our neighbors, AKA The Clampetts, yard. But that's cool. It goes with their decorating motif. The couch on their front porch, toilet/flowerpot and half painted house just wouldn't look pulled together without the ass high weeds. I asked their kids to "please play in their yard so they don't roll their toys into the chemicals I'm spraying ". I repeated this request about 5 times. Finally, I just lost it. "Line up kids! No need to be shy. I'm happy to spray Round Up Di-rectly onto your toys. Step right up!" Husband then calmly suggested I lay off the pesticides and go inside.
So I feel you Kevin. And I totally would have held your poo sack while you went toe to toe with the old dude.