Me: (Naked in the bathroom, blow drying my hair. I'm naked cause husband keeps jacking the thermostat up to 80 but that's another post entirely.) La, la, la.
Son: (Kicks open the door) I gotta pee!
Me: The seat, lift the seat!!! Ugh! (Bending over to wipe up his pee)
Daughter: (Enters room) Mama! Owey? (pointing to my nipples).
Me: No honey they're nipples, you've got some too (showing her her nipples).
Daughter: Mipples! Mipples! (Jumping up and down)
Husband: (Entering bathroom) I need to wash my hands.
Me: Could everyone get the F... (deep breath). Could I please dry my hair without the whole damn family in the bathroom with me?
Husband: God, why are you so crabby? Did you take your meds today?
Me: (Clenching teeth) Mmmmmmmmaaargh!