A small bathroom encounter

Me: (Naked in the bathroom, blow drying my hair. I'm naked cause husband keeps jacking the thermostat up to 80 but that's another post entirely.) La, la, la.

Son: (Kicks open the door) I gotta pee!

Me: The seat, lift the seat!!! Ugh! (Bending over to wipe up his pee)

Daughter: (Enters room) Mama! Owey? (pointing to my nipples).

Me: No honey they're nipples, you've got some too (showing her her nipples).

Daughter: Mipples! Mipples! (Jumping up and down)

Husband: (Entering bathroom) I need to wash my hands.

Me: Could everyone get the F... (deep breath). Could I please dry my hair without the whole damn family in the bathroom with me?

Husband: God, why are you so crabby? Did you take your meds today?

Me: (Clenching teeth) Mmmmmmmmaaargh!

22 comments:

Wendy said...

I get, "Why dont you put some clothes on." Well if I had a minute. I usually make the point with a smack.

Florinn said...

1-Be aware-husband may be cranking up the thermostat purposely so you will hang out naked.

2-why do men always assume that if you are cranky, its a problem with your meds? Can we not ever be legitimately cranky simply because they are being a PITA?

Judi said...

Lock the door......... thank God for my lock!!

And, to tell you the truth..... in a few years your kids won't want to be within 100 feet of anywhere that you would be naked. I think they were in 1st grade or somewhere around there when their eyes darted and almost flew out of their heads when they walked in on me when I was getting dressed.

It will happen Grasshopper, in time. In time.

Kelly O said...

Wow, just reading that made me claustrophobic.

Stephanie said...

I laughed even though I probably shouldn't have.

Taylor always goes in the bathroom when I'm in there but if Jacob comes in... well he doesn't lol because he knows I'll be really pissed. I hate being bothered in the bathroom.

Lotta said...

Wendy - In my head I was smacking them all.

Florin - Excellent point! And I don't know. It's more novel than blaming it on PMS.

Judi - I think I had the door open for air since it was so dang hot. But yes, I will lock it today!

Kelly - Me too.

Steph - You can always laugh here.

Sparky said...

Yeah, what Florinn said, #1. If my wife would hang out naked, I'd crank it to 80. Unfortunately, that's when she starts to get comfortable. :P

I hate, hate, HATE that the meds in my family come to the same thing; "man, you're pissy, did you take your meds?" "I'M PISSY BECAUSE YOU'RE A TWIT". I hate hate hate that my meds gives everyone else license to be buttheads and then just blame my meds when I call them on it.

That and always second guessing myself in the same vein. I do it to myself too. (For the record, I'm on wellbutrin and prozac).

Mamma said...

They definitely took away my cone of privacy/silence/peace too when they gave me those kids at the hospital.

Whose great idea was it to get married and have a family? Shoot, we could be sipping mojitos on a beach right now while being fanned by our personal cabana boy and reading a trashy novel.

Lotta said...

Sparky - What is with that? I usually say, "Could it possibly be that you are just a jackhole?"

Mama - Hear hear. Though I would likely be a scary woman with 10 cats if I hadn't met my husband.

mommiebear2 said...

This was so my life before we moved into our new house and the kids now have their OWN bathroom.

Jenny said...

I recommend drying your hair in the closet. They'll still find you but it'll take awhile.

Elizabeth F. said...

Yep, we have 3 bathrooms and everyone has to all come into the one where I am. If I ever shut the door and lock it, I have people outside hanging on the door knob screaming!! I gave up a long time ago!

Southern Fried Mom said...

Oh, how I relate to this post! My husband keeps jacking up the thermostat to 80, too. I usually don't notice until I'm cooking dinner & the afternoon sun is beating in my kitchen window. Then I start ranting & he asks, "Did you take your medicine today?" It's not like it's the instant bitchiness antidote or someting...Also, with the nipples. My hubby explained to my six year old son that mama used her boobies to feed the baby, but his are "just for decoration." He refers to them regularly as "my decorations."

Thirty-One Trendy said...

southern fried mom - love that they're "for decoration." do you put tinsel on thm for Christmas?

And same here - even if I loc the door, I get knocks and I hear "Mommy, mommy mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy......"

Lotta said...

SFM - Ha! Love the instant bitchiness antidote. If only!

All - you crack me up!

Lacy said...

Ha ha ha...it's almost as if you are describing my family (especially my husband) in this post.

michele said...

OMG I've had this happen. SOOOO had it happen. One bathroom does not make me happy in the least.

Slackermommy said...

And then you cut his penis off...right?

Mama en Fuego said...

Oh, he did NOT go there. When will he be able to walk upright again?

Oh, The Joys said...

It is like we are magnets for the other family members.

Lotta said...

Husband took it like a man while I shrilled in his ear for a good hour about the med comment.

OTJ - I know man. Like freaking baby ducks following the mama bird.

Fidget said...

ack! sounds like my house. my 2nd one likes to talk about "mipples" too