Whenever someone asks me, “What have you been up to” I blank. Wait. That’s not right. Whenever someone who doesn’t stay home with their children full time asks me, I blank. I end up getting all deer in the headlights and forget how to answer the question. Because the conversation usually ends up like this;
Me: Oh, you know taking care of the kids. Daughter’s 2 now so they are quite a handful.
Person: I know, but what do you DO?
So I start listing places we’ve gone, the zoo, the pool, the park, etc. Then the person interrupts and says, “So your not working anymore then?” To which I stupidly reply, “No, not working. Just taking care of the kids.” Person then turns to husband, “So you’ve been busy! I hear your working a lot of overtime. That must be really hard!”
If you aren’t fluent in Passive Aggressive please allow me to break that conversation down for you.
What was actually said to Lotta – You don’t do anything but hang out with kids. They always seem pretty easy when we see them. Lucky bitch that you don’t have to work.
What was actually said to Husband – Wow, you’re a nice guy to put in so much overtime so your wife doesn’t have to work.
I’m pretty sure that I’m a big wussy and I need to start speaking up. Husband always says, “It won’t make a difference, you won’t change their mind so why say anything.” But it stews me man. So next time I get a “But what do you DO” I’m going to start listing actual tasks.
Well, yesterday I cleaned shit of the shower drain after daughter’s bath. Then I cleaned the house, twice because son and his play date decimated it. I stared at my online checking account willing it to be above $19.63 so I could do a big grocery shop. Then I took the kids to the pool where I stood in a hunched over position for 3 hours so I could scoop them out of the water – note the red sunburn on my back? Changed diapers, made food, changed diapers again. Washed floors. Washed floors again after child pours their own glass of milk from a full gallon. Do you want me to go on? Why do you ask if I work? Do you not think taking care of two small children is work? Bite me.
Or at least something like that.