In order to avoid having to get a rubber hose shoved up my bum, which is what I assume they do at the buttdoc I've been trying to research a way to solve my constipation issue online. What I found was that in addition to needing bales and bales of fiber most of us suppress the urge to "go" and then lose the impulse all together. I thought about that and then realized; mom's don't get to go poop. No poop for you lady!
Today I got and suppressed the urge when both kids were passed out sleeping in the backseat and the temp was around 85 degrees. I could leave them in the car and kill them with heat stroke while I ran inside to a john. Or I could wake them up and drag two screaming children into a public bathroom. Both of them then rolling around on the dirty floor saying things like, "Mommy are you done pooping YET?" "Your butt is sooooo big. Like really big." or "Mommy your poop smells the worstest in all the world." for the amusement of anyone washing their hands outside the stall.
Perhaps your suggestion is to poop at home. Sounds logical enough. But the second my ass hits the porcelain someone needs stitches or finds out how to unlock the screen door and hightails it down the street. So I've got a shelf filled with products called Colon Blow and ButtDrano to undo the repressed damage. This morning I found myself staring down a bottle of Magnesium Citrate at the drugstore. PoopReport tells me that if I do it I'll need to take it easy and stay near a potty for 48 hours. God that would be like a freaking vacation.
Husband asked me if I had any fantasies the other day. I do, but not what he was hoping for. My fantasies include having the ability to make duct tape shoot out of my wrists and secure my children to the nearest surface. And a clean bathroom, a stack of catalogs and nobody in the house for the duration. And yea, I know some will say when I'm old I'll miss all the things I complain about now regarding the children. Maybe so, but more likely whenever they call to complain about my grandchildren I'll just snap, "I haven't crapped in 40 years cause of you kids!".
PS- You can buy the poop collage at Hummingbirdeyes Etys shop.