3 Things Every New Wife Should Know About Sex1.) There are women who can have a big O with intercourse alone. And they all live inside the porno films your husband watches. The rest of us require a bit of exterior assistance. Let him know he's still 100% man and that his magic wand shoots stars, but ladies need to go first. Or during. Whatever. And if you take depression meds, for Pete's sake invest in some battery power. Otherwise, you're just going to give up after a half hour and he's gonna get carpal tunnel.
2.) He can't see into your head. If you need to picture the hot Dad at the playground or the hot mom, just saying, to make the nookie supah hot then do it! Don't feel guilty for a second, I promise you that last week you were Carmen Electra and you didn't even know it.
3.) You know that other couple that seems like they have sex EVERY DAMN DAY. They're just all over each other when you two double date. They go home and fold their laundry. I promise you that while there are some folks breaking records most of us have our ups and downs. Two weeks of bonking like rabbits followed by 2 months of matching tube socks.
Anything to add?
And in a total unrelated topic, I have some dead man's suits up on eBay. Also, some 12 to 18 month Gymboree and Children's Place samples that were sent to me. Remember, if you win be sure to tell me you read Mom O Matic. I stashed a bunch of great loot in the box of the last auction I had because she mentioned it. Thanks!