Psychic Lotta Speaks

As promised, Psychic Lotta is harnessing her powers to answer your questions. She takes a Xanax, lights a Febreeze candle and consults her sources.

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PamKittyMorning asks "What does the housewives tarot say for me?"

Psychic Lotta pulls The Wheel Of Fortune Card.

Destiny & Responsibility for one's own fate. You are hoping that luck and fortune will bring you what desire but your fate is your own responsibility. Take charge of your destiny and receive what you're now just wishing for.

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Judi asked two questions. 1. Will my fingernail grow back? 2. Will I ever get to go to Hawaii with my husband? Naughty Judi. Don't put so much pressure on Psychic Lotta or she'll reach for the pill bottle instead of the tarot cards.

Psychic Lotta pulls Page of Cups

Cultivation, growth, nurture. The Page of Cups is a nurturing figure who tells you how important is to put lots of TLC into any relationship that you would like to see blossom. So care for those fingernails, and give lots of BJ's and you'll be in Hawaii with a French manicure and a happy husband in not time at all.

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Karen Forest (Funeral Home Assistant) wants Psychic Lotta to guess her real name. Karen the spirits tell me that your first name begins with a P. Penny, Patty, Patricia. A spirit named Henry also wanted me to tell you that your boss peeks up your skirt when you bend over near the water cooler at work.

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Canarygirl wants to know if there is a Jacuzzi in her future.

Psychic Lotta pulls The Moon.

Instinct, intuition, dreams. The Moon helps provide you with hints and tips through your dreams. Do you dream of Jacuzzis? If so, one is in your future. If not, better start eating some beans.

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Debbie wants to know where Bob's hair went. Psychic Lotta says to check your drains.

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Queen of the Mayhem wants to know if Mr. Mayhem will pay for the tummy tuck he promised her.

Psychic Lotta pulls The Star.

Admiration, limelight, success. The Star says that others look to you for inspiration and optimism. Enjoy your popularity but don't let it go to your head. So Psychic Lotta says that Mr. Mayhem will spring for that tummy tuck but be sure not to gloat while the rest of us bloat.

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Stuffed asks Psychic Lotta when her husband will deploy. Psychic Lotta gives Stuffed a big hug and then consults the spirits. They say he will deploy when the month starts with the letter M. May or March and that he will be fine.

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While not everyone can possess Psychic Lotta's master powers, you all can buy the Housewives Tarot if you want to. If you get them try not to lick the cards, the graphics are just so cool.

10 comments:

stuffed said...

Whoa! The place looks great. Nice blog remodel.

And thanks. :0)

PamKittyMorning said...

Oh Lotta! That hits freakily close to home!

canarygirl said...

Heeee! So a jacuzzi *is* in my future! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!! :) lol I love the new look of your blog, Lotta! :)

Lotta said...

Stuffed - Thanks! Let's hope "M" stands for "Maybe never?"

Pam - (Bows head humbly)

Canarygirl - Bubble bubble toil and trouble in your new jacuzzi. Thanks!

EmbracingKatrina said...

I am totally jealous that I missed my chance to join in!

Lotta said...

Embracing - No worries, this was fun and I'll do it again. Maybe I'll use my runes!

judi said...

Crap....... you got me back alright...... yup, just like you said you would.

I'm not as young as I used to and I swear I'm getting arthritis in my left knee. Crap.

Karen Forest said...

Too funny!

However, Henry is f@$ked up since we don't have a water cooler at work. Or maybe he was referring to Patty's, Penny's, Patricia's or someone else whose name starts with a 'P' because :( unfortunately, mine doesn't.

I so wanted you to be right! Maybe next time.......

Maybe this talent takes time to fine tune.

Lotta said...

Karen - I'm totally going to act like the psychics on TV and insist that I'm right and you just haven't realized it yet. Obviously you were called Patty in a past life. And Henry is old fashioned and sees the sink as a water cooler. Uh, yea,that's it.

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

I love it! You are the bestest.