There is a mom at our preschool that I christened Strawberry Mom after she spent a half an hour at orientation making us pinky swear that we wouldn't bring any berries for snack time. Not because her son was allergic to them but because she thinks he kind of might be. Cause one time. At a party. He ate a berry. And got a rash. And then this one time.....
Last week she started swooning at the top of the stairs. Wait let me start over. Swooning after she climbed the 3 steps up from the preschool room. Cause, one time. She passed out. After climbing the stairs. And so she has to be really really really careful.....
But today was the kicker when she announced to all the moms that her son would not be able to attend my son's birthday party cause of the theme. Robots, Rockets and Rayguns. She had an objection to the Rayguns. I offered to make sure that there were no actual rayguns on the premises during the party, but no luck.
So next week. I'm going to wear these earrings. Eat a strawberry a pop tart and run up and down the stairs past her with a smile. Too much?
I totally dealt it at the beauty shop yesterday. See there is this salon inside our gym. You can put your kids in the daycare and then go get your hair cut right after you've stopped by the pawn shop to sell your wedding ring to pay for it.
But thanks to Slacker Mom's donation to my piggy bank I had a few bucks in my pocket and was browsing their clearance Aveda products when poot. A silent and deadly slipped out and I casually took off before it could waft over to the reception area.
15 minutes later my ADD has kicked in and I have totally forgotten that I pooted. So I wander back into the salon and book an eyebrow wax with my mad money. I have the wax and then walk out - totally forgetting to pay for it.
So now I'm known as the lady who farts, forces someone to rip out her excess facial hair and then leaves without paying. Thank God, at last I'm gonna get rid of my Ikea ICrazy rep.
*Yes I went back and paid for it later that night.