Urine Trouble Now!

We've been working on training daughter to use the potty. And by "working" I mean we bought a bag of M&M's (one for pee, two for poo) and popped Potty Power in the DVD. The songs are cute and perky and utterly fascinate my children.

The downside is that daughter will not stop singing "Whadda ya like to do when you're sitt'n on the potty. Sitt'n on the potty for awhile? Well there's lots of things to do that will make you happy too. When your sitt'n. On. The potty!". She'll sing this little diddy to just about anyone who will make eye contact with her. I'm so numbed out to the lyrics I don't even flinch when she asks the guy behind us at Target what he likes to do when he's on the shitter.

But so far the passive approach to potty training has served us well. Anytime we have put a concerted effort into potty training it always came back in our faces. Sometimes literally. It became a power struggle with lots of clenched teeth and forced smiles as we wiped urine off the wood floors. And husband and I became obsessive about the topic,

Husband: Did you know the Indians saved their pee pee and used it to soften their leather?

Me: Have you heard of drinking your pee for Urine Therapy? Dale E. has and she gave testimony to the benefits of a tee tee martini;
For years my sun allergy had ruined my vacations. My family relaxed in the sun but I had to sit in the shade under two sun umbrellas. Nevertheless, just by going swimming I broke out in fluid-filled, itching blisters. During my next vacation my beach neighbor told me that her sun allergy had vanished since she started urine therapy. I started with it and today I can sit with my family next to the water.
Husband: You've always gotta top my stories don't you?

Me: No. If I wanted to do that I would have told you that our neighbors are into Golden Showers.

Husband: They are!!?

Me: No. But I would have told you that.

Husband: Keep talking and I'm going to ask daughter if she wants to watch Potty Power with mommy.

Me: (Miming zipping up my lips)

14 comments:

Rima said...

This is easily the best post about urine that I have read all week.

Little Monkies said...

Ooooh. I liked the illustration on the wikipedia site. Now that's not something you see every day!

Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

OK, seriously, WTf is up with that illo on Wikpedia???? ICK!!!

Lotta said...

Oh lord. I didn't see that illustration. I figured Wikapedia would be the least offensive link explaining what this is.

~JJ! said...

We used one for pee and two for poo too...

And we also had to threaten to get rid of the dog.

Good luck.

Jennifer said...

We bribed with rollerskates. I'm all about whatever it takes to say goodbye to diapers!

WTG, daughter!

Katie J said...

Thankfully I didn't have to pee when I read your post because I would have wet myself. Thanks for always giving me (Hubby too!) a good laugh.

Betsy said...

Have you noticed the little shimmy that Potty Power Lady does? I think she's an ex-stripper.

Caron said...

I think just the threat of urine therapy could cure lots of things!

Lotta said...

Betsy - How funny, I just noticed that this morning. Like she's holding back man.

Slackermommy said...

I love potty talk!

Betsy said...

Don't hold back, Potty Power Lady! Unleash the sexy!

M'Lynn said...

I have the urine prejudice...

I will not overcome it.

In fact, imagining it made me forget all about the cookies downstairs. So, THANKS LOTTA!

Maybe this is my urine therapy. Imagine drinking it when I crave anything but brown rice and vegetables.

shauna said...

I'm a desperate mother here with an untrained 3 year old. I'm going to buy the video and sing along. Heaven help us all...