Toddler Tyranny

How is it that I forgot my very own sick child timeline? Daughter’s been kicking my ass the past three days. She's all jacked up on purple popsicles and vanilla pudding. There are total meltdowns if I won’t put the Doodle Eff-ing Bops into the DVD player. Again. She's flipping a biscuit if I even glance over while I’lldoitmyself is attempting a task.

I’m embarrassed to admit I swatted her bottom when she was fish flopping as I tried to get her coat on the other day. It was ever so light of a tap. If I hit your butt as hard you might not even notice that someone had spanky pants you. But gah, the guilt! I’m ready to fly the Doodlebops in for a personal show at this point.


Tilly said...

I smacked Mini Mint's bum for the first time a couple of months ago - after he ran out of our house, straight into the busy road out front.

I charged down the drive after him, grabbed him by his arm, swung him round and swatted him on the bum, before I even knew what I was doing.

I then kneeled down and tried to (calmly) explain that the cars will hit him and he will be very sore.

Every time we leave the house now he says 'the cars will hit me' - and grabs hold of my hand.

I hated the smack, I still feel guilty about it now, but I think it did (indavertently) do some good this time.

plumtickled said...

OH.... go easy on yourself! You didn't leave a mark did you? I've needed to swat my girl's and my guys' little booties a few times in their lives......... for moments when I thought they were getting out of control......... it stopped it in it's tracks and control was taken back by the MOM!

My boys are wonderful, well behaved young men with great personalities that love and respect me. I see no mental or emotional slack from those few little moments.

I'm sure she's just fine and loves you very much. Give her smoochies galore and the damn Doodle Bop Dip Wads if needed.

Give yourself some slack....... you're a great Mom!

Little Monkies said... If I had to listen to those creepy boy-band-on-acid freakies I don't know what I would do. Seriously, Lotta. That's like the creepiest kids show I've ever seen. However, when I started the youtube clip, my children came RUNNING in to see what it was.

Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

Yeah, but they are rainbow colored freaks, so who cares what they think?

Domestic Chicky said...

I SO feel your pain...and you have my utmost sympathies. ;)

Lotta said...

I'm not anti-spanker. There are times when I small swat is what it takes. I think I was spanked all of 3 times in my life and that sounds about right to me.

I just feel horrid that she was sick and miserable and that's what was making her into an insane toddler.

Rhonda said...

I can't tell you how much the Doodle Bops bug me. Thank goodness my daughter is all about The Wiggles.

Anyway, I posted that commercial you wanted to see over on my non-mommy blog.

P.S. Don't feel bad about a little swat!

lildb said...

wow. I commented on that post. I don't even remember that post.

I'm not saying your words aren't funny and memorable and awesome. I'm saying that my brain is like a black hole.

and also, I'm grateful as hell that you reposted that particular item because my son has lately been behaving just like that, and I've lost my temper several times, and I'm grateful grateful grateful (I could fetch a thesaurus but in the end I'd still just be telling you how grateful I am with fancier words that don't bore you and oh my GOD I need to shut the fuck up).

thank you. I'm sick and now I'm going to go die, and then after that I'm going to stop pretending my son is a young prince.

the end.


mommiebear2 said...

How freaky ironic, we're actually going to see these folks on Sunday. My kids.are.thrilled.

Angelina said...

The DoodleBops (who I never saw nor heard of until right now) are the reason I almost didn't have a kid.

I'm going to have nightmares tonight.