Virtual Boy Baby Shower For MotherGooseMouse

Mayberry Mom, Motherhood Uncensored, & motherbumper are hosting a virtual Baby Shower for MotherGooseMouse. And our virtual gift to her is to "write a post about raising, rearing, chasing, or enjoying little boys." So here goes;

I didn't actually sit down until son was 4 years old. Now I just get up when I smell blood.

We went to the ER twice for stitches before he was 2. And this was before I had a blog so he wasn't nearly as neglected as he is now.

The male ego is one of the first things to develop. Expect lots of "I'm bigger than x right?".

Also plan for lots of conversations like this one, usually in a public place;

Mom: Dude, do you have to pee?

Son: No.

Mom: I think you do because you keep squeezing your wiener.
Son: No. I j
ust like to do that.

All those sweet hugs and cuddles you get early on will actually continue. There will just be giant bony elbows and knees in perpetual motion during the sweet yet painful snugglefest.

You will totally be his first girlfriend (and no that's not creepy one bit, nuh huh). Because he will delight in bringing you flowers, and drawing you pictures and just generally wanting to do things to make you smile and dive in for a bony hug.

Mother's who only have girls will be convinced that you are a bad parent. Because they believe they;

a.) Would never let their boy play with (rayguns, battleships, white sugar, etc.) if they had one.

b.) Don't understand why you have to put those ugly hook and eye locks on all your doors so your child won't escape the house while you pee.

c.) Will think you are incredibly overprotective when you insist on hovering under your boy child as he climbs up playground equipment. As they are not used to the idea that their children believe they can fly like (insert current superhero fascination here).

Go to the Gerber Graduates web site and click on the TV that says "The Park".

Keep a sense of humor. It helps when you find your one year old boy empties all the spices onto the kitchen floor just to see what would happen.

Plan for a fun, crazy, loving ride and more awesome adventures than you could ever imagine.



Wendy said...

That is the best advice I have heard. It is a true awakening to parent a boy.

Now, if I can keep my son from dragging the dog around by his tail, I think the dog and I will be very happy.

KatieJack said...

My boy child is 18 now (that's a whole 'nother set of issues) and I don't miss the hooks and eyes on the doors. And the eyelets in the baseboards that we wired the furniture to when I got tired of finding all my furniture pushed to the middle of the room. And the bungie cord to keep him out of the refrigerator. And the handles we removed from the outside faucets so he wouldn't squirt the high school girls walking home from school. But I do miss a warm little body still damp from his bath snuggling with me on the couch. Enjoy them while they're little!

mothergoosemouse said...

You get up when you smell blood - oh boy! We've had a zillion head bonks - including one that instigated a call to the doctor's answering service - but blood is rare. I'll steel myself not to faint.

Thank you for the giggles and good advice!

Mayberry said...

"sweet yet painful snugglefest" -- I love it. Mighty good summary of motherhood, when you get right down to it.

Thanks for joining the party!

Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

you so adorable.