Kiss my ass Casmir Pulaski

I've just about lost my mind. It's been a month of recovery and whining at home with two consecutive tonsil/adenoid surgeries. And God Bless his kind heart, but son is a master whiner. It sounds like this. "Heeeeeeeeeeeh" in kind of a Felix Unger clearing your throat noise. But play it on an endless loop and then run at someone. Cause that's what son does.

I sit on the potty and hear "Heeeeeeeeh" and see him hauling ass towards the john. At the computer "Heeeeeeeeeeh" and he's running down the hall. In the morning before I open my eyes I feel him trying to burrow back into my womb yelling "Heeeeeeeh". And daughter isn't a whiner, she's more of an ass-kicker when she gets overdone. So she's poking son in the armpit over and over till he loses it and runs to me.


Today we actually got to leave the house, something we have barely done over the past 4 WEEKS! In the middle of Subway the kids start going at it. Poke. Heeeeeeeh! And I said, "Wow. You guys are as annoying out as you are at home." Uh - huh, I said that. My sarcasm usually heightens a bit when I'm stressed at the kids. But lately, it's been getting out of hand. After 2.2 minutes of no whining/picking on each other the kids said "Mommy aren't we doing great? And I was all "Yea, you really knocked yourselves out."

So I was thrilled for all of our sakes when the doctor gave son the ok to go back to school tomorrow. Yes I was.
Then I got on the phone with a girlfriend and she told me that there is no school Friday or Monday.

No. School.


(Weeping over my keyboard)

7 comments:

kathi d said...

Oh, you poor thing!

My dad hated whining so much! Whenever we whined, his standard line was "I'll give you something to cry about!" I get it now. I'd rather hear almost anything except whining!

Caution said...

I did not understand why parents didn't like the whiiiiiinnnneee. Then I had four kids. I feel your pain. Deeply.

g-man said...

EW, whose cosmic cornflakes did you piss in 4 weeks ago?

Here is to Tuesday!!

Anonymous said...

OMG....mine do that, too! They'll be annoying for hours, then great for 2 minutes and ask, "Are we being good today??" Well, actually, no. You're not. But, I smile and say, "FOr the last 2 minutes, sure. Yeah." :)
L.

Jennifer said...

Did the school burn down or something? It's just cruel to not have school for 4 days straight.

so tired said...

Oh my daughter has become an expert whiner. She can totally make me crazy with the whining.

And the sarcasm. That has come back to bite me in the ass. I didn't realize how much I was doing it until they started doing it back to me. It sounds really sweet coming out their mouths (that was sarcastic)! ; )

Jerseygirl89 said...

Oh God, I'm so sorry. That just sucks.