I've been peeing on lots of sticks in order to convince myself that I'm not knocked up. I'm not. The sticks tell me I'm not with their single pink lines. I don't have quite the relief that I might have had before I became a mom. Now that I've loved two little newborns, it would be hard to be completely excited about not being pregnant. But having weathered post partum depression, pre-eclampsia and the really brokeass mama era I am relieved. I think. Yes I am. Maybe. Gah!
One stick in particular got me a little riled though. It's by EPT and it says "PREGNANT" or "NOT PREGNANT" and I thought..harsh man. A lone pink line is so much less obnoxious. Cause you can tilt the stick from one side to the other squinting to see if there is another very faint pink one. The lone pink line still carries some hope. But the NOT PREGNANT, them's almost fight'n words. If I were trying to become pregnant I know I would be yelling "Oh yea! Well. Screw you. Stick!"
When I was pregnant with my both my kids I peed on sticks endlessly. (I used to order them from Canadians selling them in bulk on eBay.) There is this period of time between your last and your next doctor's visit that the panic sets in. The first week after the visit you are quite reassured. You heard the heartbeat. You're fine silly! Then the next week you start worrying again. That's when I pulled out the sticks. I'm sure that scientifically it proved nothing, but it was oddly reassuring. Maybe that's why I like the pink line so much. The pink line said, "Hey. It's all cool baby." to me.
Later today, I'm going to go to Walgreen's to buy a new, super sized bottle of MIDOL in the hopes that it will calm down my raging PMS. But if I see anybody in the pregnancy test aisle while I'm there I'm totally saying, "Pssst. Stay away from the ETP Test. It's a real asshole.