Sign 104 That I'm Wicked

There are times when I'm sure my impatience has destined me for a straight ride to Hades. Namely, my total impatience with handicapped workers. At the Jewel I have to count backwards from 100 as the sweet, smiling lady puts a single item in a plastic grocery sack. Ties it up. Then gently places it inside the cart. She does this for every single piece of food in the cart until you have used enough plastic bags to stroke out any environmentalist.

So today at the car wash I knew I was getting a metaphysical slap upside the head for this huffiness. I agreed to get the "Vinyl protection plan" for the interior of the minivan. Lured by the promise that apple juice would just roll right off the newly treated vinyl for the low cost of $16.99.

So after cleaning the interior of the van they pulled it over to the side and handed a handsome and handicapped gentleman a
squirter of Armor All and a sponge. God bless his heart, but daughter and I sat at the car wash for almost 2 hours waiting for him to wipe down that interior in slow motion.

Finally, I had to walk over to another employee and ask that they pretty please help our guy to wrap it up. So another worker came over, did a quick and thorough wipe down and then told the our dude it was all done. The handicapped guy stopped, frowned and decided that he needed to do over all the work the other guy had just done. And slowly started wiping the car again.

About a half hour later (It's been 2 and half hours at this point) I just walked up and put daughter in her car seat and started to close doors. I thanked him, told him "great job!" and gave him a big tip. He looked peeved that I had interrupted his task, sighed and walked away.


Seriously, our car had been absolutely K-Y'ed. The steering wheel was so slippery I couldn't even grip it. The interior was so slicked up my sunglasses wouldn't even stay inside their little tray. Which was probably best because I needed them to block the intense shine once the sunlight hit the car as we drove away.

So I hear you universe. But maybe a little less lube in my next lesson?

10 comments:

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Usually lube helps in these lessons.

This one? Not so much.

PS. You slay me.

Jennifer said...

I find myself in these situations with really old people. I have a big soft spot for the seniors and usually end up in their line and it takes forever.

Daughter is a real trooper for not melting down during that ordeal!

Grim Reality Girl said...

Well, this is not one of my peeves... but I look forward to having you as my friend in hell since I'm likely to be there for SO many other reasons!

If you get there first will you fire up the margaritas for me? It is only a matter of time....

Angel said...

You have much more patience than I do. I don't think I could have made it to a half hour.

I agree with the person above me, as well. My daughter would have been terrible waiting. I'm so glad to see that your daughter didn't take it too badly.

adriane said...

I am going to work "K-Y'ed" into my vernacular. Best verb ever.

Kathi D said...

whoa, SLICK!

Kathi D said...

Oh, and for a handy quiz to determine just WHERE in Hell you will end up:

http://www.wsu.edu/~alake/new_page_3.htm

Kathi D said...

Erk, actually this is the better one (and I'll shut up now):

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv

mommiebear2 said...

I have had that happen to me before, very slipper messiness.

Jenny said...

"But maybe a little less lube in my next lesson?".....sigh......if I had a nickel for everytime I've said that........

:)

continuing to love your blog.