Tea Bag'n Feet

I was totally going to take a picture of my used Detox Foot Patch this morning. But when son started making "ack, ack" dry heaving noises when he saw them I decided not to. Quite nasty.

When you first put them on they look like rectangular, over stuffed tea bags. (Which will no doubt lead to nightly tea-bagg'n jokes from husband when I stick them on my feet)
You really need to slap these on at bedtime since there is no way you could walk around with these pouches on your feet. They would burst and the little dehydrated flecks of Japanese voodoo would spray out around your sandals. So put them on before bed and then slip some socks on over the top.

I swear that the spots that I put the foot patches on felt kind of hot. Like something was working. (But that could have been because I pumiced the hell out of them before applying.) When you put them on the outer cotton is a pristine white. By morning, "ack", the herby insides have sort of melted into a lump. And the outside of the cotton is a dark tar black. Some say it's the toxins that have come out of your body. I tend to think it's more a reaction of the heat of your feet with the foot patch innards.

I got the variety pack of patches and last night I tried the Gold patch which is supposed to help with;
"Fatigue, headache, double vision, blood pressure, arthritis,rheumatism, skin problems, stress, slow learning, hot flashes due to menopause, and mood swings. Manufacturer recommends this for those who suffer from Crohn's disease, Fibromyalgia. Also recommended for heavy metals detoxing."
Quite a snake-oil like list of cures. But oddly, my feet didn't hurt at all when I woke up this morning. And usually I'm hobbled till they stretch back out after walking around. No pain at'all. Maybe it helped with inflammation somehow? Tonight I'm taping some shrooms to my feet with the Silver Agaricus patch. This one is supposed to fight off uterine cancer and reduce blood pressure. I'll let you know if I feel especially cancer free on Friday.

(By the way I'm sharing this because I'm an over sharer and not because I'm making some mad foot patch money of any kind.)


Mitzi Green said...

i don't believe for a second that these things do what they claim to do, but i'm always tempted to order them because i enjoy gross crap like that (biore pore strips, anyone?).

Jamie said...

I hate to be a tea bagging buzz killer, but 20/20 did a story on theses and tested 8 people to see if they work or were a hoax. Don't work, sorry.

I am just looking out for you, don't want you wasting your hard earned esty money on these when you could be putting it toward more important things like pills and booze.

Read all about it here:

Lotta said...

Jamie - Yes booze and pills are usually the first place my spare cash goes. But this is more like Mitzi said. Kind of a gross fun Biore for the feet. It works out to be like a buck a night for a quick thrill.

Lotta said...

PS - But...that said...my feet still don't hurt and by now they would be in killer pain.

Jamie said...

Heh, if it works for ya..more power to you. Maybe now you can experiment my putting them in other places? Armpits, butt crack? You know, turn this fun up a notch!

Becky said...

I had plantar fasciitis for months after my son was born, so I know how you feel! We were broke at the time so I didn't want to have to get orthotics, plus I was on my feel all day teaching. The thing that finally got me over that hump was some off-brand Crocs that I got at Payless...they were so soft and cushiony. I guess they absorbed enough impact that my feet were able to get some rest and heal. They were hideously ugly but they felt soooo good!!

Jen said...

I was all set to be impressed by these but then jamie ruined all my hopes and dreams. I'll never trust again.

jen said...

Thanks for the tip. And of course; the laughs ;-)

Lotta said...

Becky - I'm wearing Teva's version of Croc's right now!

Jen - Don't let the man get you down. Go natural!

Kathi D said...

What the heck, even if the "cure" is psychological (as long as it doesn't cost the rent money) if you're getting a benefit, right on.

Besides, I want to live vicariously through your foot tea bags.

dan edal said...

Are you sure you are using the right detox foot patch?

You may be using a knockoff made in CHINA or KOREA.

For more info on the ORIGINAL patch made in JAPAN, please visit: