Chicago Style Marriage

If you didn't know it already, husband and I have a garbage war going on. I'll throw out a tube of hair gel with one squirt left in it. He'll dig it out of the garbage and put it back in the cupboard. So anything that he could possibly deem as usable, but should really thrown away, needs to be defaced in some way so that it is nonreturnable. And so our story begins;

We had this sweet hobby horse that daughter used for a few years. But at some point the top of the wooden stick (the part inside the head) had snapped. So the horse looked like it had broken it's neck as the head sagged sideways. I tried to throw that horse away at least 4 times. And every single time it's wonky head would be sticking out of the toy box by the time I woke up in the morning.

But this past weekend the kids were at a sleepover, and so I decided to get out my scissors and deliver a little Godfather style revenge on husband.

This is what his feet touched when he woke up in the morning.

12 comments:

dianeinjapan said...

Okay, that horse head is just hilarious! Couldn't be any more perfect.

jen duncan said...

OMG...we have the same issues. I wait til he leaves town to throw bigger things away. I figured it was because I'm the third wife and he lost all his 'stuff' to the first two. Hmmm.. maybe it's just a man thing?
I'll be the horse head scared him to death!
THANKS for the david sedaris suggestion. LOVING him.

jen duncan said...

That was "I'll beT"

Suzanne said...

I LOVE IT!!!!

We have the same problem in this house, but it's the live in mother-in-law that acts as the household garbage nazi. Is this totally a Chicago thing or what?

- Suzanne, the Farmer's Wife

Belle in Bloom said...

Love it!

Katrina said...

May I just say that I love you? That was hilarious! But you have to tell us what his response was!

Becky said...

Fabulous! My hubby doesn't have the garbage-picking issues, but he refuses to throw useless things away. We still have a training manual for WordPerfect 5.1 on our bookshelf because you "just don't throw books away." Being a teacher (and a neat freak), I have summers off, and things just tend to "disappear" during that time and he never notices they are gone. He leaves for work at 7, the garbage man doesn't come until 9. Plenty of time to dispose of the evidence!!

decoratorgirl said...

Just the juicy nugget my day needed! Thank you for this bit of vindictive-ness, it inspires me to live another day! Husband has a sweatshirt he proudly reminds me he has owned since before HE EVEN KNEW me.. yes, and the neckband and armcuffs are so shredded it looks like he is wearing a wee bit of lace out to the garage every evening!

geelizzie said...

Some ketchup around the horses neck would have been a crowning touch!

My husband likes to pick through my workroom trash-so irritating! Yes, I DID mean to throw that stuff away, goddammit, and watch out for the broken glass in there!

Lawyer Mama said...

OH my dear GOD, I could not stop laughing!

Kisha said...

Um, that's totally awesome. I think I just peed a little. :)

PussDaddy said...

OMG, my husband is the same way, lol. Too funny.

PussDaddy