HGTV

Mama Fidel constantly nails it - but this quote in particular was awesome. I don't think it's possible so sum up HGTV any better.
"I'm here on my ass watching HGTV in the name of "research". My research has led me to the conclusion that if the lady from Decorating Cents showed up on my doorstep I would probably give her a squirt of pepper spray." Mama Fidel
I think the only designer I would welcome into my home would be Candice Olsen (provided someone else was paying). Her designs are quite nice. Plus she reminds me of my ambiguous but super friendly high school gym teacher. I fear everyone else would paint my rooms "chocolate", which is code for shit brown. Or attempt to decoupage wine labels onto my dining room walls. *

The other night husband and I were watching some kind of bachelor pad redecorating show on HGTV and they actually put leather tiles on a bathroom floor. The designer was all "Oh, they are soooo durable!". I'm not exactly sure where that designer dude tested the "durability" of a leather tiled floor but my guess is that there was someone with "Mistress" in front of her name in the room with him. Husband just kept shaking his head and head and mumbling about the destructive properties of urine on leather.


*If you have chocolate furniture and wine labels I'm sure it looks beautiful.

8 comments:

The Introvert said...

I have to say, if Candice Olsen showed up on MY doorstep, I'd run screaming from the premises. Her designs are okay (although a bit traditional for me), I just have an aversion to giant, perky Canadians with obnoxious theme songs.

I'd rather have Kenneth Brown show up. It would be fun to have my very own spiky-haired gay designer.

Jennifer said...

You flatter me, Lotta.

I do like a lot of stuff Candice does. I would invite her in.

Fidel and I used to love watching Trading Spaces back in it's heyday. I think that's where I developed my phobia of budget decorators. They did some seriously scary stuff and I always wondered if they had an "undo" budget to get the homes they wrecked back to normal.

Suzanne said...

Candice Olsen can show up on my doorstep anytime. I love her designs as they are classic and untrendy. She really produces a finished design, all the fabrics, hard surfaces, accessories drapes, everything works together for a really polished look. I'd deal with the perkiness just to have a great looking room.

- Suzanne, the Farmer's Wife

Becky said...

I love Candice Olsen!! She can decorate my house anytime!

A friend and I had (semi-seriously) talked about applying to Trading Spaces when it was in its heyday, but were too chicken that we'd get Hildy and end up with our walls covered in silk flowers (what the hell was she thinking?).

Lotta said...

Becky - Oh lord. If you did it you would have ended up with Hildy!

Becky said...

Lotta - It would have either been Hildy's flowers or a painting of Doug Wilson's big ol' hairy foot in my living room!

Kathi D said...

Hildy painted a sofa once. Painted. A fabric sofa.

However, I have no sympathy for the homeowners who sign up for Trading Spaces and then think that their friends are going to "do right by them." The designers always do whatever they want, anyway!

IamSusie said...

Home decorating shows are depressing. They make you think everything you have needs to be replaced. I like the home organization shows like Clean House and the British one "How Clean is Your House" where they clean up absolutely filthy scuzzy spaces. Watching these shows makes me feel as though I have actually cleaned and organized my own home even though I haven't.