Son and daughter have entered a new and maddening phase. Or at least I pray to God it's a phase. The fighting phase. But it's not so much fighting as it is each of them incoherently screaming at each other. It comes out of nowhere and makes my head feel like a whirligig. I can't focus or think rationally. So all that good parenting, the time outs and such, don't even occur to me.
I've been trying to grit my teeth and keep it together, I really have. But today I lost it. We were driving to Kindergarten and both kids were eating happy meals. (Don't judge me man) Lunches that contained the EXACT same items. Someone decided that the other had too much, or not enough, or who the hell knows because I stopped listening when the screams started.
I couldn't even talk over them to arbitrate. So something possessed me to nail my horn. Which was asinine because all it did was scare the daylights out of the lady in front of me. So I put the radio on AM talk and cranked it up as high as it could go. Speaker blowing high. Like number 11 on the amplifier loud. And waited it out.
But every time they would quiet down, and I would then turn the radio down so I could speak, the screaming commenced. So I reached back, grabbed their happy meal toys and chucked them out the window. Stunned silence.
When I called husband and work to tell him what a crap mom move I made, he reminded me that this wasn't my first chucking incident. Back when husband and I were dating we had what he refers to as the notorious cookie fight.
I was making him chocolate chip cookies at his dad's house. I don't remember what we were fighting about, but frankly you should never fight with someone that's baking for you. Or handling your food in any way for that matter. At one point I walked outside with the bowl of cookie dough and started whipping it handful by handful into the yard I got so mad. Husband was all, "Nooooooo. Not the cooookies!".
He really should have warned the children what I was capable of if pushed too far.