Not Your Dream Chiropractor

I was browsing Amazon today, in search of some kind of back pain/alignment device. I'm always begging husband to crack my back, and he's too afraid he'll hurt me to give me a good crack-a-lack'n. And the kids used to walk on my back, it's awesome when they do a little jig on a wadded up shoulder muscle, but they've gotten bored with it. Dammit.

So I thought that maybe I could buy some kind of gizmo that would pop my wandering spine back into place. Maybe keep that hunchback from forming for a few more years yet. Preferably something without batteries or a plug so the neighbors wouldn't think I was masturbating myself to death. Cause my back hurts a lot.

Well, I found a whole bunch of nifty stuff. Including something called a Sacro Wedgy. I'll let you just think about that name for a minute. But what what struck me about this particular product was an unusual 5 star customer review;
"...a chiropractor would actually have to enter my body (I'm trying not to be too graphic), to "crack" the bone back into place each visit. Not something I was comfortable with. I saw this little device and thought anything was better! And it is great!"
Well no fucking wonder they gave it five stars! "Anything was better" indeed! I don't even want to know what this person thinks the dentist is at liberty to do to fix a locked jaw.

The review kind of freaked me out so I abandoned the search and tried another route. I made an appointment with an acupuncturist for 2 weeks from today. I've been hearing that they can really help back and neck pain. It's worth a try, though if the acupuncturist wants to stick anything other than a skinny needle into me I'm outta there.

3 comments:

Deb on the Rocks said...

My chiro does not wear gloves. Now I'm going to wonder what he did with the patient before me.

IamSusie said...

Yipes! Did I read that right? was she sexually assaulted every week at the chiropractor to get proper alignment? I totally vote for accupuncture.

Ami said...

oh dear.

Make sure your acupuncturist uses disposable needles ;)