Not Your Dream Chiropractor

I was browsing Amazon today, in search of some kind of back pain/alignment device. I'm always begging husband to crack my back, and he's too afraid he'll hurt me to give me a good crack-a-lack'n. And the kids used to walk on my back, it's awesome when they do a little jig on a wadded up shoulder muscle, but they've gotten bored with it. Dammit.

So I thought that maybe I could buy some kind of gizmo that would pop my wandering spine back into place. Maybe keep that hunchback from forming for a few more years yet. Preferably something without batteries or a plug so the neighbors wouldn't think I was masturbating myself to death. Cause my back hurts a lot.

Well, I found a whole bunch of nifty stuff. Including something called a Sacro Wedgy. I'll let you just think about that name for a minute. But what what struck me about this particular product was an unusual 5 star customer review;
"...a chiropractor would actually have to enter my body (I'm trying not to be too graphic), to "crack" the bone back into place each visit. Not something I was comfortable with. I saw this little device and thought anything was better! And it is great!"
Well no fucking wonder they gave it five stars! "Anything was better" indeed! I don't even want to know what this person thinks the dentist is at liberty to do to fix a locked jaw.

The review kind of freaked me out so I abandoned the search and tried another route. I made an appointment with an acupuncturist for 2 weeks from today. I've been hearing that they can really help back and neck pain. It's worth a try, though if the acupuncturist wants to stick anything other than a skinny needle into me I'm outta there.


Deb on the Rocks said...

My chiro does not wear gloves. Now I'm going to wonder what he did with the patient before me.

IamSusie said...

Yipes! Did I read that right? was she sexually assaulted every week at the chiropractor to get proper alignment? I totally vote for accupuncture.

Ami said...

oh dear.

Make sure your acupuncturist uses disposable needles ;)