The kids have started taking classes at a local dance/karate/gymnastics school. (Thank you Grandma and Grandpa!) Son is kicking ass in his Tae Kwan Do class. While I sit on the lumpy waiting room couch, watching him and thinking, "Yeah man. I gotta get some exercise."
Daughter is taking a dance class, that requires her to wear pink from head to toe. Pink tights, pink leotard, pink skirt, pink ballet shoes and pink leg warmers. And she'll need to buy a $30 purple and pink special sparkly skirt to wear in the spring show. Which costs $30 to register for and $3 for each ticket to the event. Sonofapinkbitch. Good think I have affordable health insurance.
This costuming dress code frightens me a bit. Especially after peeking into the gymnastics room and seeing leotards so sparkle laden they could put a disco ball to shame. But as soon as I saw daughter twirling around on the sunlit wooden dance floor with a group of other little pink girls I swooned. The girls were so soft looking, like a big yummy ball of cotton candy tumbling around the room.
I tried to chat with some of the other parents during daughter's class. Parents who did NOT want to chat because they were too busy rapping their knuckles on the glass and yelling, "Point your toes!".
I did find one mom who was eager to talk though. She said, "I wanted to have my kids while I was young, so you know I could have the energy to keep up and you know get my body back right away! I'm 30 now and that's way too old to be having more kids!". I told her I was 37 and she sort of sidled off like my age might be catching. I think next week I'm going to stuff my pants so it looks like I'm wearing a geriatric diaper. Put on a little Eau de peepee.
Son's karate class is directly after the tween dance/cheer/pom classes. And I listen to the moms that hang around and chat on the lumpy couch after class. "Ashley won't eat potatoes. Ashley needs to get new spanky pants. Ashley shit glitter last week and we were sooo excited!". Don't get me wrong, I love pom and cheer. I was a "Trojanette" in high school - no shit. The Trojanettes was the name of the junior pom squad, for you know "The Trojans". And I don't mind telling you that we did quite a few smart little numbers to songs like One Night In Bangkok. Oh yes we did.
But these moms just didn't, or couldn't, talk about anything else but cheer or pom or their daughter's highly specialized needs. It was unsettling. Still, I'm really excited to see the kids having so much fun in their classes. I'm actually going to sign daughter up for gymnastics. Even though it means wincing when I see her run across the mats in an off the shoulder purple sparkle leotard with matching headband.
But if you go to this school too, and see me doing the dance/gymnastic routines from the sidelines and reminding daughter to smile - I haven't joined you, I'm just drunk.