Kinda Sorta Trying

*I bought the premier magazine issue of Semi-homemade Cooking With Sandra Lee. The magazine for the housewife who kinda gives a shit about what her family eats.

Because after my week of sloth the guilt over my slatternly domestic ways overtook me. Not, mind you, because I have anything against motherly sloth. But because I come from a home where our special Christmas Bread recipe takes 6 hours to make. And "taking it easy" means you clean the floor with a mop versus your hands and knees. So the guilt was inevitable.

When the kids and I were at Legoland with my parents the other week mom was quite impressed when I pulled out cute little Bento boxes for the kid's snacks. Then I removed the lid to the top portion and my mom looked on in horror at the pre-sliced, pre-bagged apples. Like, "Did I raise you to be so lazy you can't even cut a goddamn apple up for your kids.?" (Sorry mom - it's not you it's me.) Then the topper was when I revealed the bottom Bento box layer. A pre-sliced, pre-bagged celery portion with PEANUT BUTTER!

Clearly my evil plan was to give the kids salmonella so they would be too sick to eat. Bwaaaa-Haaa-Haa! 'Specially since Gwen is giving me the Pediasure that her kids find disgusting. Bet you donuts to dollars my two will think it's best fucking smoothie they've ever had in their lives - I'm just that poor of a cook.

My mom is actually a doll and the kids love going to Grandma's house to eat her home cooking. I fear the day when she stops wanting to make Thanksgiving dinner for us all. Son trys to spare my feelings when he says, "Grandma is the best cooker in the world!". Cause he follows it up with, "Mom is the best, um, sandwich maker in the whole world!". That's right kid. I may not know how to make homemade stock, but I know that Miracle Whip can suck it. Fresh mayo, some bakery buns and deli ham. You've got yourself a beautiful lunch.

And for some reason I can't stop announcing what can "Suck It" this week. I just love the sound of saying, "Well x can Suck It!". Next thing you know I'll be yelling "Burn!" at some poor kid when he falls in front of our house. Anyways, I'll try and post some pics and recipes of anything that turns out halfway decent. But if you are expecting any sun dappled pictures of food preparation. Well, you know what you can do.

PS - I got the cheap EBay special Bento Boxes, but how flipping cute are these! Almost make you want to cut up some carrots. Almost.

*This only pertains to my lazy self. I'm sure you could very well own this magazine and not be the slacker meal preparer that I am.


bellystitch said...

My daughter asked for a bento lunch once after seeing some other kid with one. I told her that's what Lunchables were.
Did you see these bento lunches today on the engrish blog?
Who has time for that?

marymurtz said...

My daughter wants a bento box, but refuses to eat home-packed lunches. I think she just wants to put her hair supplies in the containers. For the cost of a bento set, I can buy her school lunch for just over a month, and she loves hot lunch. It's cheaper than therapy, when she used to pitch a giant fit every morning about her lunch. Now she just eats at school.

I dig that bento set. I got a stainless steel version for myself about a month ago, and use it all the time. It's from to-go

Your post made me laugh my ass off!!