Lazy Ass Mama Week

Normally, I get indignant at the idea that being a staying at home mom is easier than working outside the home. It gets my hackles up when I hear fellow stay at homers deny themselves something because, "My husband works." Oy-vay. I want to tell them that it's likely their husband's boss doesn't tell them they accidentally crapped all over the floor and could they come clean it up now? Otherwise, they'll just smoosh it all over the walls, kay?

No, staying at home is work. Except for this week. This week I have fulfilled every imagined stay at home mom stereotype out there. I've laid on the couch and watched movies, abandoned all but the bare minimum of housework and have taken a nap every damn day. My dinners have come from bags I found in the frozen foods section. Preparation involves peeling back the corner of the plastic to vent.

I'm not sure what's come over me. I want to enjoy this lovely sloth, but a voice in the back of my head keeps yelling that if I keep indulging I'll NEVER EVER GET OFF THE COUCH AGAIN. Usually a visit to my nearby sister in law's house lights a fire under me. She's always on the move, making things happen and keeping busy. But I can't bring myself to stop by her house when there is perfectly good valentines chocolate at home to eat.

Everybody's healthy, I'm not depressed, bills are paid - ok well bills that report to the credit bureau are paid - and I don't feel like doing a damn thing. It's so very wrong. Hard working husband is about to walk in the door so I need to stop writing this so I can go bustle about and create the illusion that work has been done today. Then tomorrow I'll get back to normal. Or maybe the day after. Hell, let's just wait till Monday it's better to start with a fresh week.

10 comments:

Pamela said...

I have found that sauteing onions about the time hubby is due home gives the illusion that dinner is cooking. And it buys time to actually think something up.

Lulu said...

Adult bevvies - aka vodka tonics - works well too - just hand him a drink as he walks in the door.

I am so envious and so understanding. I think we still need to hibernate. Yeah....I don't want to shave and be an outside active person yet. Hairy and plump. With naps. Ohhhhhh....that's my dream.

Oh well - 2 out of three ain't bad.

Anne Alagna said...

I say screw it! If it upsets him then he sucks and is jealous. AS IF they wouldnt do the same thing if they were home!

lovey said...

hey, Monday is president's day, so really...you don't have to get up until Tuesday! Enjoy..

Chocolate and Steel said...

My husband was out of town for 3 days and I was perfectly content with mac'n'cheese and chicken nuggets all 3 days. I watched TV one night for 4 hours straight. Sometimes you just have to indulge and then you realize that frozen nuggets and "toddlers and tiaras" wasn't all you built it up to be.

Eve said...

LOVE THIS!! :-) If I am feeling really lazy that day I can usually get the house looking like I cleaned the whole thing in about 10 minutes- the queen of speed cleaning here! LOL

juliet said...

My husband, who "works" while I "stay home" sweetly tells me that he would shoot himself if he had to be a SAHM : )One of the many reasons I love him so very much.
As for the selfless martyr brigade, some people are idiots, there's no way around it.
Thanks for the great post.

halfpint said...

Can we trade for a week? Seriously...

SoMo said...

Everybody needs a down week once in awhile. Everyday I lay on the sofa for 2 hours while Sam takes a nap. Sure I get everything done before then, but I figure I am just taking my lunch and breaks all at once. Hey, I know people that "work" get them, so why shouldn't I.

Compulsively Yours...for now said...

Yes, just wait until Monday. I would rather work personally. I had stayed home far too many years and I am ready to get the hell out of this house and get a job.