The Bachelor: Kindergarten Style

Son has started dating. Sort of.

He's been coming home from kindergarten with a backpack loaded with love notes and love pictures from two girls. Pictures of him and the brazen hussies girls holding hands under a big heart or hugging. And they write, "I LOVE SON!" across the top. According to son, one girl declared her love in front of the whole class, and the other ran up to him and kissed him during circle time.

So today before school, he tossed three notes on my lap that he had written. Yelled, "Read them!" and then ran out of the room. The first two both said, "Love, Son. OK!!!!". I asked him if the girls were bugging him to write back and he said, "YES! This should make them happy right? They'll leave me alone now right!?" And I had to bite my lip and nod. A baldfaced lie, "Sure, sure it will. They won't bug you anymore now."

But the third note that he had written wasn't as easily read. He hasn't yet figured out that spaces are neccesary between his words. Or that words need to be written out in a particular order. And don't even get me started on his use of "Your" versus "You're".

Offended, that I couldn't figure out what he had written - he stormed out of the room. After assuring him that clearly it was my old and feeble eyes that were the problem, and not his personal writing style, he translated. Telling me that he had written down his address and phone number for her.

Me: Really! So you want her to come over for a playdate?

Son: Yes. NO! Yes. NO! She said something unappropriate to me!

Me: What? (Dying inside over the cuteness)

Son: It was the "H" word.

Me: Ok, I've lost this game before. Just tell me what she said dude.

Son: NO! Fine! She said, "Hot".

Me: She said you were hot!

Son: YES! GROSS! AAAAAH! (Runs out of the room)

See ladies. Draw all the pretty love notes you want. But flatter my son with unappropriate compliments and it'll get you a personal invite to paradise. And by paradise, I mean a highly supervised visit with graham crackers and cootie spray.


Jen said...

how hard was your lip and/or tongue bleeding from biting it to keep from falling on the floor cute.

Lotta said...


Rosina said...

Love your story! And you know, they never really change do they? ;)

Lotta said...

I have to add that I just noticed son drew a star on one side of his folder and a heart on the other.

He said that he puts his papers on one side and his love notes in the other. He's just got that many to manage that he had to create a filing system. He's so cute!

Chocolate and Steel said...

oh my gosh, he's in kindergarten? You are in for it. little hottie.

Hey Lotta, you should enter my giveaway. I'd love if you won!

Erin said...

And here I have been feeling bad for my son's teacher because she has 15 boys and only 4 girls in the class. Good luck with all the cooties!

SP said...

I absolutely LOVE this. I've been biting my tongue (sorta) about the brazen little hussies chasing after my Things for years now. The current problem, they no longer want to run away. Enjoy the fun.

SoMo said...

Just to let you know, that I am on the other side of this issue. Be happy you are dealing with the boy instead of the girl and all her drama. Oh, I keep telling her to leave those little boys alone. She won't listen so I have to hear how hard her life is, because none of the boys like her. Then there are the catfights between the girls. Seriously, I remember none of this when I was in first grade.

Charity said...

Too cute! I've got about 2.5 more years before I'll have to start chasing the girls off for my son when he starts school. Right now he totally freezes up if a girl so much as looks at him when we're out.

angelashupe said...

It sounds like you have a little Romeo on your hands. Good luck. ;-)

*I* was one of those girls back when I was in kindergarten. I used to chase one boy at recess. When I caught him, I'd kiss him.

Omg Lia said...


Patricia Rockwell said...

It's quite obvious that your son is very discerning and should probably BE the next "Bachelor."