You Are Getting Very Sleepy My Dear


I bought a weight loss hypnosis MP3 yesterday. Because it was 99 cents and I'm still fat. You are supposed to listen to it at bedtime, and gently fall asleep as you are hypnotized into choosing to eat broccoli instead of McNuggets.

So I got all ready for bed. Did my whole pee, get up, pee, get up routine enough times that I was satisfied that I could relax. Put on my headphones, pressed play and settled back into the dark and cozy room. Then, "YOU ARE GETTING VERY SLEEPY" comes blaring at me at top volume! I had forgotten that the player was set at at workout level intensity. Plus the guys voice is really breathy and creepy so it scared the shit out of me.

After I stopped shaking and laughing I tried it again at a lower volume. I had a hard time shutting my brain down I must admit. He was all, "You're on the beach" and I was all, "Really, the beach? What am I wearing? Do I have sunglasses? A pina colada?". After awhile I got into it, but then the MP3 said that I was lying on a blanket, on the beach, all alone at sunset. Nuh, huh. That's creepy. What if some wandering, drunken crazy person comes walking by and wants to cozy up and share my stash the blanket?

But somehow, I still managed to get really relaxed and drift off into sleep. So soothing. I knocked out before we got to the "You think burritos taste like ass" portion of the program - so I'm hoping my subconscious mind took notes. Then the tape ended. How do I know this? Because Ghetto Superstar came on right after, waking me up and once again scaring the beejesus out of me.

I'm going to try to put it on an endless loop tonight and give it another go. I'll let you know if it works or just makes me want to go on vacation somewhere beachy.

7 comments:

Keely said...

For 99c, it's GOT to work. Right?

sam {temptingmama} said...

OMG Lotta! LOL

Ghetto supastah that is what you are
Comin from afah reachin for the stahs
Run away with me to anothah place
We can rely on each othah
From one corner to anothah ah ha


Now I have to go searh for that song somewhere. LOL

Lotta said...

Sam - I love that song and totally blast it from my minivan. Oh yes I do.

Keely - You know it!

Christy said...

OMG this is so funny you made me spit out my prosecco all over the keyboard. I can't wait to hear how it goes tonight.

Miss Yvonne said...

Yeah, this would not work for me because I think too much and would probably end up just laying there thinking about what the guy who recorded it looks like and you KNOW he's huge and eats corn dogs for lunch every day.

Mmmmmmm, corn dogs.

geelizzie said...

I am totally rolfing or whatever it's called-rollingonfloorandlaughing-oh, it's rofling. anyway. and, I'm so glad to know I am not the only one who pees, gets in bed, lays there for a few minutes, gets up and pees again, ad nauseum.

Lotta said...

Gee - Oh it's annoying! Like I have to lay on my back, pee, side pee, other side, pee. Drives me nuts!