The End

Well my lovelies, it's time to close up shop at the Mom O Matic blog. It has been truly one of the coolest experiences I've had - this blogging thing. I've met the BEST people, hopefully became a better person and definitely enjoyed being inappropriate with you all.


Reasons Why I'm Shutting Down The Blog

Creatively ready to move on.

Ran Out Of Funny Stories. It's true. The best writers are drunks and whores (i.e. Southeners and Canadians.) Well medicated, somewhat well adjusted women are just not creating the kind of slapstick fodder that's neccesary for good humor blogging.

That bad "Mom O Matic" keychain someone made. (FYI: copywrite your blog name)

My kids have reached an age where we are actually having more fun than ever together. I'm not needing that blog wormhole as much as I once did when they were small. "Lalalalala I can't hear you I'm blogging. Lalaalala."

Coming to terms with the fact that I take on too much and then complain about feeling scattered. Trying to hone down what I'm doing to a mere half a dozen things at once.

Untrue Rumors About Why I'm Shutting Down The Blog
I am protesting the anti-swagger/pr blackout bloggers. Not true. Though I have to add that while I understand that saying you love a hug at Blogher09 more than a free Bounce sample is a good and true statement. I'll take that hug AND a free bounce sample thankyouverymuch. In fact, if you saw all the swag bags in my hotel room you would have thought I was fucking grocery shopping. Go middle-class!

I'm actually a dude named Stan who lives in his mom's basement in Nebraska. Not true. Though my computer is in my basement - which makes the amount of time I spend online kind of scary when you realize I am doing it all from my subterranean lair.

I'm getting a divorce so I can marry someone I met on Match.com. Not true again. I only use eHarmony. (And am still madly in love with husband thanksforasking.)

Thebloggess is threatened by my beauty and success and threatened to "cut me bad" if I didn't drop out of the scene. (This is actually true. Help.)

I'm hoping you all will start a heavily Paypal donation driven petition to bring me back. Not true. Sorta. Maybe we can be all Midwestern passive aggressive about it. Where you offer up protest a few times knowing I'll politely refuse but appreciate the hospitality. (And if you have itchy Paypal fingers Friends Of Maddie would love your support.)

Reasons Why I Probably Should Not Shut Down The Blog.
It's been better than therapy.

You.

You again.

Yeah, you in the back too.

My everyday friends will now be forced to receive all the blunt and lewd dialogue that I NEED to put forth everyday or risk imploding.

The fact that I still see that ghosty shadowy thing in my peripheral vision while I'm in the basement and I think it'll miss me when I'm not down here at 1 AM typing.
You all are awesome, thanks for coming to visit me. Thanks to PooponPeeps for not trashing me. And BIG thanks for listening to all my stories for the past 2 years.

If you miss me too hard you can always follow me on Twitter (momomatic) though it's often unedited and sometimes drunken. Sort of like an unplugged version of this blog. And of course you can always BUY MY PRETTY CRAP on Etsy. Or just be a fan!

Missing you guys already!

Lots of love, keep on keeping on!
Lotta

PS - Per usual. I blew off my contest winner. The winnah of the free fatassnomore wrap is Amy Kate. Email me lady!

56 comments:

IamSusie said...

I've loved your blog, but I understand the need to move on! Children are way easier when they get older aren't they? Have fun doing new things with your darling family!

Anonymous said...

Now I don't have anything to look forward to; I started every work day zipping over to your blog. I've laughed. I've cried. I've enjoyed every word. You are amazing!

Love ya!

Linelle

Anonymous said...

I've been reading you for almost 2 years. I wish you the best and thank you for the sharing! I just deleted Mom-o-matic. Bummer!

Miss Jess said...

It's an end of a Blogging era. I wish you nothing but good things in your future. Stay beautiful.

Anonymous said...

I totally understand you wanting to stop, but (speaking as a writer myself) I doubt that someone with your talent could ever stop *writing* altogether. That creativity needs an outlet! So, while I'll miss your blog terribly, I hope to one day see your name again at the bookstore (Bestseller section, of course!). Take care, and best of luck. Thanks for all the fun stories. :-)

JMom said...

Thanks for the laughs and distracting me from work! I'll miss your posts. Take care!

PamKittyMorning said...

Love you Lotta. xop

Megan said...

I'm sad to see you stop blogging, but obviously your children come first. I have really enjoyed reading your blog. I hope that you'll come back some day.

Kyla said...

But maybe you are just going to miss us SO MUCH that you create a new blog one day? Or maybe cave and come back to this one? I'm just saying, I won't judge you if you decide to come back. I will totally forget this little "The End" post if you decided maybe you wanted to take it back at some point. ;)

Will you still come to BlogHer? 'cause I didn't go this year and I'll be a little sad if you aren't there next year.

Kate said...

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! That's me crying. I understand but think it sucks. I'm still here via email and twitter, so any time you need something, holler!

Erika Jurney said...

I miss you already :)

SP said...

I miss you already!

Leah said...

Please don't go!! I think you are hilarious but I do understand the need to simplify your life. I hope someday you come back.

Anonymous said...

Good-bye Lotta! I will miss you!

Kristi said...

I will miss you, funny lady. xoxo

Amy Kate said...

The only blogger I met IRL. IRL for chrissake! And you're leaving me. And you live so close and I hope to just someday see you at burgerwerks. Because I'll be getting rid of my FAT ASS and can eat their tasty shit all the time now, thanks!

I wish I didn't gorge on everything you'd ever written already. I did that when I first found your blog, see. Read through every post. Clicked on every link. Pored over context clues to ascertain where you lived and which window was to your bedroom. Whatev.

I'm going to keep you in my Reader. I'm going to hope that once in awhile you post secret posts and then unpublish them so I can scarf them down in secret like Take 5 candy bars.

I think I need a snack. Too many food references.

I'm gonna miss you, Fool!!!

Lotta said...

All - you guys are so nice. Thanks for taking the time to say by!

Amy - Stop making me cry! Besides - all you gotta do is call me and you can see me in IRL!

Rowdy Girls Mama said...

yours is one of the first blogs I ever read regularly and I will miss it dearly. best of luck to you and your family. keep your funny going on twitter, though, please!

LSL said...

Soooo disappointed to see you go! Twitter just isn't the same thing. :(

All I can say is that I'm happy for you that you feel good about your decision. Everybody's got to do what is best for them. You are probably the funniest blog I read, and I always get excited when I see you in my feed reader. Good luck and thanks for all of the smiles and laughs :)

Helena said...

oh noooooooo, you're blog is one of the funniest, most hillarious... I will really miss you! Thanks for all the laughs! xxx

Nicole said...

Bye, Lotta. You rock!

mommiebear2 said...

*Sob* You will be missed.

Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

WAIT. WHAT??? I am sad beyond measure. But I also understand and as long as you swear to NEVER EVER EVER shut down your Etsy shop we can still be friends. Kapisch?

xoxox

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

For real, this just made me cry.

I remember the first time I found you, years ago, wishing I was cool enough to be your friend.

I'll miss this blog. Don't change your phone number or I really will cut you.

The Introvert said...

What? No!!! I love your blog. You routinely make me laugh out loud, and that's usually something only The Bloggess are capable of.

Well I wish you would change your mind, but thanks for the laughs just the same.

Darla said...

I'll miss you! But I totally understand.

corrin said...

Damn shame I found your blog the day you closed up shop!

Angela said...

You will be missed.

Deb said...

I blame that whacked Lutheran upbringing, we are so conditioned that if you can't do something full tilt you don't get to do it at all.

But,

I'm so happy for you. You are a true creative, so I know whereever your attention goes it will be hella good.

I just wanna know all the addresses and details and shit.

Tiggy said...

Over the last couple of years, I have laughed, cried and snorted things out my nose... sometimes all three at the same time. Thanks for all the fun. You will be missed. enjoy the extra time with the kiddos!

Lotta said...

All your comments are making me cry!

Deb - True dat.

Katie J said...

I will miss your humor and your ability to be out there. I understand why, but I'll miss you.

MsPrufrock said...

Oh man! I knew this day was coming, but it really snuck up on me. Damn. I'll miss your blog, but thank god you're still doing the shop, or else I would likely die. My husband, on the other hand, is probably happy you're ending the blog, as it often reminded me to check Etsy and buy stuff.

Bon voyage.

lifeandtimesofstella said...

Wow, I just found your blog today yet I'm still sad that it's ending. But I have the whole blog to read so I can just visit whenever and pretend each entry is new. So, don't worry! I'll be fine!

Seriously, best of luck as you boldly go...somewhere.

DD said...

I'm the one who got your Whiskey Teething Ring necklace. You asked in your etsy follow up email to me.

Now you know how I found you.

You'll be missed here. Truly.

Alli Worthington {@alliworthington} said...

I keep coming back to see if you are really shutting it down or just teasing.

(stomps off.......)

plumtickled said...

I miss you already Hooch!

Diana said...

You know I love you, and always will. You popped my BlogHer roomie cherry. I CAN NEVER GET THAT INNOCENCE BACK, WOMAN!

Miss you.

Joie said...

NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE AWAY MY CRACK! NEED GENTLE LETTING GO OR NONE AT ALL!!!!!!

Please, please even if it's just on occasion!

Lotta said...

You guys are killing me with your sweet comments. Give me at least 6 months. Maybe I'll rebirth under a different blog name.

Maggie, Dammit said...

Godspeed, girl. Let me know if you change your mind? xo

Joie said...

And will you e-mail all of us your new name???

Lotta said...

Of course! I just need to spend some time with my family and maybe even try my hand at writing some non-blog stuff.

Marie said...

Boo hoo, you have cracked me up so many times, so nice to find a kindred but twisted spirit. Glad your doing what you need to do for you and your fam but damn I'll miss you. Run on and sucky puncuation but the sentiment is there.
Marie

Karen Sugarpants said...

you better keep in touch, whore. because this truly is a sad day for me. and it's all about me.
love you, miss you already.
(sad trombone)
:(
xoxo

Deb said...

Wow, your last post is the first post I've read on your blog and I'm bummed that I missed it all. Great farewell.

reen said...

Aw man! I truly understand, I do not blog (yet) but imagine it would be tough to keep it going for all eternity. I've lurked through the years and truly love your blog and stories. Farewell...I will keep you in my reader in case you ever change your mind. Happy trails!

Jessica said...

I still can't believe how many people you've touched with your writing. And I can say "I knew you when...". Thanks for inspiring me to write my own blog. And for making me chuckle so much. I'll see you on the flip side...

uthostage said...

Better late than never on my comment, right?

I was a really new follower to your blog when you announced that you were planning to close it down. I totally enjoyed reading your blog and I completely understand your decision. The thought has crossed my mind occasionally about going on an intentional blog hiatus (instead of an unintentional one that seems to keep coming up). We gotta do what we gotta do!

I wish you well in all your future endeavors. Take care!

sweetbabies00 said...

Thanks for the laughs!!!! Best Wishes and take care.

Lotta said...

Thanks for the nice send off all!

Black Skin Care said...

Very beautiful and attractive in blackish color

The Hussy Housewife said...

What!?! SO you are liiiike...breaking up w/ me?
Have you found someone else..is it me?
No really I understand..family first...and I to have contemplated quitting. I just took the whole summer off..and it felt like great.

However...I will have to agree with some of the girls...I found that I still needed a writing outlet..so you will be back..after a break.

Miss ya!

21stCenturyMom said...

Just get a FaceCrack Account. You wont' even notice you aren't blogging any more. My blog is totally neglected and I don't even feel like updating it - my blogger friends are all on Facebook!

ps - this is my first visit to your blog and now it's gone - SOB!

Anonymous said...

Just my luck! I just found your blog today! :( Oh well, sorry to see you go!

baby clothing said...

Really it is amazing!!.. love your blog.. all the best!