Being a parent I am supposed to keep the swearing inside my head,
For example, the other day husband was endlessly checking his work email on his tiny phone. The kids refused to get out of their pajamas and their eyes were glazing over with television. I had been trying to get this motley crew out of the house for a half an hour and needed husband to help me rally.
Me: Come on man! There's the Printer's Row Book Festival, An Art Festival, Chicago Blues Fest. Let's go! Let's fucking fest!So we went and we totally fucking fested. We fested our asses off. We fested until we were out of our goddamn minds with festing. And then we washed our mouths out with soap and headed home. Next week? We are going to build some crazy badass Lego City buildings at Legoland.
And tonight at my first book club meeting, if any new mom friend announces that they couldn't possibly eat another appetizer because they had a shit-ton of chicken nuggets for lunch? BFFs.