Profane Parenting

I confess that I am one of those people who believes that a sentence is incomplete unless there is profanity incorporated. There are times when a well placed cuss elevates the dialogue to a higher plane. When I am out with a group of new friends and one let's an f-bomb slip I know we are gonna get along just fine. And when I get blank stares after declaring the chip dip rocks my ass off I know this isn't a group I'm gonna fit in well with.

Being a parent I am supposed to keep the swearing inside my head, but it totally slips out anyways but when I can I try to incorporate it into my adult to adult parenting dialogue. Frankly, I feel it's a necessary release valve and every parent should try it. (I also believe every parent should have free access to Xanax and Vicodin but that's another post.)

For example, the other day husband was endlessly checking his work email on his tiny phone. The kids refused to get out of their pajamas and their eyes were glazing over with television. I had been trying to get this motley crew out of the house for a half an hour and needed husband to help me rally.
Me: Come on man! There's the Printer's Row Book Festival, An Art Festival, Chicago Blues Fest. Let's go! Let's fucking fest!
So we went and we totally fucking fested. We fested our asses off. We fested until we were out of our goddamn minds with festing. And then we washed our mouths out with soap and headed home. Next week? We are going to build some crazy badass Lego City buildings at Legoland.

And tonight at my first book club meeting, if any new mom friend announces that they couldn't possibly eat another appetizer because they had a shit-ton of chicken nuggets for lunch? BFFs.

18 comments:

Stacey @twinmomoftwinz said...

You and I would totally fucking get along.

Cat said...

Kind of like when, nearly getting t boned by a streetcar, my four year old asks, "is this when you say Fuck, momma?"

Diane Faye Zerr said...

You're fucking awesome.

In the words of Tommy Tiernan: "the English language is like a brick wall between me and you, and Fuck is my chisel"

Lotta said...

Hell yeah all!

Diane - your graphic design work is gorgeous!

Cali said...

hells yeah!!

Andie Reid said...

Does this mean I have permission to cuss like a sailor as per normal around little people now?

Undomestic Diva said...

Fuck yes.

And this is sooo timely. Just had someone (who I don't even follow) on Twitter tweet to tell me she "used to think" I was funny. VERY funny. But my mouth is just disgusting... referring to a tweet I had just posted where I swore. To which I promptly replied, "Well, that's too fucking bad!"

Get over yourself, self-righteous!

Lotta said...

Cali - Indeed!

Andi - No, but you can mouth it behind their backs if you need to.

Undomestic - Good for you, seriously.

Noel said...

I fucking feel you on the release a good f-bomb does.

fuck yeah, motherhood! said...

Hence, the name of my blog.Surprisingly, having a foul-mouthed mama has completely turned my teens off of curse words. I took all the fun out of them and it doesn't feel like rebellion. Fuck yeah!

angelica said...

I have, and continue to debate on that one. I naturally swear, or as a a nun in my school used to say, I have an ample vocabulary.

I get given a lot of shit for this (& I do find it shocking when my 2 yr old says "oh shit!" when he drops something.. which doesn't happen too often)

jury is not out yet on weather I will train myself to say "smudge" and other watered down (and somewhat risdiculous) expressions. for the time being I do what comes naturally...

like fuck yeah motherhood's comment... maybe I can convince myself I am doing it for their good

Lotta said...

Thanks for all the comments, you all are giving me the warm fuzzies.

Angelica - I do try not to let them fly with the kids in earshot. I fail, but I try. Mostly I incorporate it into any parenting narrative I give to my husband or anyone else that wants to listen to me.

Muffin Top said...

Fucking love it!

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MommaKiss said...

I think I fucking love you. And your fucking festing.

Ali said...

I too am gifted with a a good potty mouth! Lately I find it so hard to not swear when yelling at my child. doesn't "what the fuck were you thinking" sound like you are just that much more mad? I do refrane from it though...gotta try to be a good parent sometimes.

Lotta said...

Muffin & Mommakiss - It is good to be loved.

Ali - Go to the bathroom and cuss like a sailor. Take a shot while you are in there too. It helps.

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