Puke, Popsicles & Pamphlets

Recently, daughter and son both got through a nasty bout of stomach flu. Having the two of them experience the same symptoms (puking) consecutively made me aware that kids throw up in a way that is entirely unique to them. Like a snowflake, only you don't want to catch it on your tongue.

Son is a 360 degree puker. When he feels the upheaval coming he likes to make sure that everyone in the room gets to experience it. It's as if he feels you might be disappointed should you not get a chance to examine the full contents of his stomach. And he will turn away from the bowl, toilet, consolidated spot on the floor to share it with you.

Whereas daughter is more of a secret, surprise, secreter. She just stares at you and then with absolutely no warning, vomit dribbles out. But once it begins to come she is entirely focused on getting it into a receptacle of some kind. So much so that I have not been able to get the giant metal bowl we use for sick kids out of her arms. It's been days since she got over the flu but she is so afraid that vomit might sneak up on her that she refuses to go anywhere without the bowl.

So far the bowl, daughter and I have visited Target, a preschool picnic, the dentist office and the grocery store. Try walking down the aisles of your local food supplier whilst your child holds a giant vomit bowl and not eliciting comments. So I'm explaining that no she doesn't have to puke really. She's fine, she just "thinks" she has to puke over and over again to suspect shoppers. When I got home I realized that I had totally missed an opportunity to cut ahead in line. "Yeah I know I'm number 98 but if I don't get my cold cuts soon my little girl might vomit all over the organic produce in your basket...but we can wait. It's fine." Head of the line.

Another byproduct of having two kids consecutively sick with the pukes is that you are housebound for a considerable amount of time and frankly nobody is all that interested in visiting you. So you get a little stir crazy. I realized I had hit a low when I went onto Twitter to post this status, "Leaving family room. Moving to kitchen. Might do dishes." Wow, that's the kind of blow by blow that says "I'm really lonely and might start making friends with the Latter Day Saints that come to the door bearing pamphlets if I don't get out soon."

But we made it through! The kids lips are permanently etched in a purply red from having ingested so many popsicles. And their blood sugar is so high from a nonstop flow of Ginger Ale that they hover inches from the floor as they vibrate from room to room. This weekend I'm busting out of the house to hit the flea market with a friend and I can't wait for the grown up company. I hope she doesn't try to hand her pamphlets out while we're there...


WeaselMomma said...

Sounds like a lovely week you had there. Luckily, my children all learned and took to heart very early how to make it to the toilet in time. Then again, they are all runners.
I hope things get better soon and here's wishing you some new Mormon friends.

Robyn said...

Love it. The bowl going everywhere is priceless. omg.

Wish I could go flea marketing with you and your latter day saints friend...

Lotta said...

Weasel - good job on the vomit training!

Robyn - Me too. You guys going to come to Chicago anytime soon? Thought of you when we attempted to go the pet parade this morning. Mack remembered you guys serving "boiled" hot dogs at the "BBQ" fondly.

Gwen said...

Ahh, the pukes. No fun to have or parent through.

(I liked your last line.)