Shopping With Lotta

I have this strange, creeping hatred for almost any purse that I purchase. I think I love it, I put it on my arm and walk around TJ Maxx with it, admire my reflection when I pass by a mirror. This purse is IT. Once I buy this purse my Target outfits are gonna shine baby! I get it home, then a slow hatred develops.

Me: I got a new purse, do you like it?

Husband: Is this a trick? Are you going to say, "Know how I know you're gay? Cause you like my new purse." after I answer?

Me: It's totally not a trick baby. Like it?

Husband: Yeah, it's cute.

Me: It is? I don't think so. Nope, it's not cute. It's kind of ugly I think. Dude it's totally fucking ugly. What the fuck was I thinking? This is the most awful goddamn purse I've ever seen. It looks like pleather! It looks like I hunted and skinned a 1970's dentist office chair and made it into a satchel! The fuck?!

Husband: (Grabs balls protectively and slowly backs out of the room)


5 comments:

areyoukiddingme said...

Ha! I feel very sorry for your husband! My husband wants to know how much it cost and why the hell I spent so much when I already have 700 purses just sitting in the closet. He's the one who should be protecting his balls...

Gwen said...

now i know why we're friends. i have the EXACT SAME AFFLICTION.

Cali said...

dude!! i'm the same way... i think 'what about that other purse i was looking at... was it cuter?' ugh

Lotta said...

Areyou- I may not qualify as a female since I tend to only own 2 purses and 4 pairs of shoes at a time.

Gwen - Yeah, it's that. The purses.

Cali - I HATE the purse I have now. I'm sure Freud would say I actually hate my lady purse and it's all projected. But I'm pretty sure it's the cheap blue leather. (The purse not my ladybits - they are not blue. Most of the time.)

Lotta said...

Update: I saw a senior citizen with the EXACT SAME PURSE today. She had to be in her 80's. Which sorta made me like it again actually.