Me: I got a new purse, do you like it?
Husband: Is this a trick? Are you going to say, "Know how I know you're gay? Cause you like my new purse." after I answer?
Me: It's totally not a trick baby. Like it?
Husband: Yeah, it's cute.
Me: It is? I don't think so. Nope, it's not cute. It's kind of ugly I think. Dude it's totally fucking ugly. What the fuck was I thinking? This is the most awful goddamn purse I've ever seen. It looks like pleather! It looks like I hunted and skinned a 1970's dentist office chair and made it into a satchel! The fuck?!
Husband: (Grabs balls protectively and slowly backs out of the room)
I have this strange, creeping hatred for almost any purse that I purchase. I think I love it, I put it on my arm and walk around TJ Maxx with it, admire my reflection when I pass by a mirror. This purse is IT. Once I buy this purse my Target outfits are gonna shine baby! I get it home, then a slow hatred develops.