Why Hello There!

I love the idea of welcoming your spouse with a big hale and hearty "Hello!", followed up by hugs and kisses. It's something the kids already do, run to the person who has been gone for all day or for 15 minutes getting milk and smother them with love. So the grownups should do this too right?

This is how it usually goes:

Husband: Hellooooo! (kids attack him)

Me: (Furiously trying not to burn dinner & realizing I should have brushed my teeth after snacking on guacamole w/onions) Uh, hi. Hey. (Distractedly offer my cheek to be kissed) Can you take out the garbage?

This is how it should go:

Husband: Hellooooo! (kids attack him)

Walks over to me, bends me down for an involved, black and white movie style kiss. My breath is fresh, my hair is brushed & there are frosty cocktails in my hands. Dinner? Perfectly cooked and already on the table.

Me: Why, hello sir!

This was my first attempt to make that happen:

Husband: Hellooooo! (kids attack him)

I walk up to husband, hair brushed, breath fresh and plant a big smacker on his kisser.

Me: Hello sweetheart.

Husband: Are we overdrawn again?

Me: No. Well maybe. But that's not why I kissed you. Welcome home, would you like a drink? I made vodka tonics with lemon. Also there's meatloaf...and it's not burnt.

Husband: Seriously, what....did you do? Are you pregnant? Do we owe bad people money? Did you slash neighbor's tires? You did didn't you. I told you to wait till the dead of night. DEAD OF NIGHT!

Me: (Stare) Can you take out the garbage.

Husband: (Sigh of relief) Yes. Yes I can.
The next day we tried again. Burnt dinner, unbrushed hair, beer and lots of deep kisses. Wouldn't have it any other way.


Mama Bennie said...

HAHAHA this is pure magic! The story of every mom's life.

Jenny said...


Jerseygirl said...

Love it! My husband would undoubtedly react the same way.

Gwen said...

That's how you do it. Keep the romance alive, baby. GIve the rest of us hope.

Jessi said...

Lol! Well at least you tried, but don't scare the man like that!

Kristine said...

Oh yeah, it's like that in my house every night too. Except usually I'm thinking to myself "god, I hope he doesn't use tongue."

Lotta said...

Mama, Jenny, Jersey - It is an everywoman posta.

Gwen - If it's up to me to keep romance alive we're all in big trouble.

Jessi - I always scare him, keeps life interesting.

Kristine - Pshaw, tongue is lovely when lightly applied.