Come closer. I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Ready? You can't tell anyone I said this kay?
Sometimes...my kids are assholes.
Shhhhhh. Of course they are amazing, beautiful creatures with souls filled with cotton candy, rainbows and roses. Their kindness blows me away more often than not. And intellectually I recognize that they are supposed to be driven by their egos, or Id's. A survival instinct, a necessary self involvement so they can develop as they should. But sometimes...they are just assholes.
Want to know another secret? Sure you can handle it? Sometimes...your kids are assholes too.
And it's ok. Because ultimately, no matter how sweet, lovely and charming we all are - we're also assholes in some regard. It's human nature. So the next time your magnificent sire uses your guest towel to wipe his butt, don't fret. Your darling daughter sprays you with the hose cause you said no more Popsicles, don't worry. You have not failed as a parent. Your child will not grow up to be a heiny wiping deviant or a hoser. They are simply trying out their assholeness.
So pop the embroidered towel into the wash, grab a drink if it's noon, somewhere. And mutter "asshole" under your breath when nobody can hear you.
It's ok. I promise.
We will all know you still love your kids with all your heart and that you are a good person. When you aren't an asshole. Cause we all are sometimes.