My birthday is coming up in a few days. The big 39. I'm a Virgo, though technically not a virgin since the summer of 1990, my favorite color is a golden glowy yellow and I accept all alcoholic beverages from moonshine to fine wine should you wish to celebrate with me.

The wisdom of my years you say? Share with you what I've learned on the long and twisty road of my 39 years? Well, I've heard folks of a similar age say, "I'm too old for that shit" in reference to something that would previously get their knickers in a knot. I think that's good advice. People being gossipy? "I'm too old for that shit." Fretting about wearing the same outfit 3 days running to pick your kids up at school? "I'm too old for that shit, pass me the Febreeze."

I believe if we stay firmly on the "I'm too old for that shit" path we'll enjoy life more and more. Less time worrying about others means more time eating pizza, screwing our spouses and playing with our kids. In that order.

However, because I never like to stay firmly on any one side of the issue, life is a thousand shades of gray my dear, I also believe we should be saying "I'm NEVER too old for that shit" too. By the time I'm in the nursing home I hope to have embraced that devil may care attitude enough to launch my plan of streaking, belching with vibrato, grabbing the cute orderlies asses and stealing the other patients pills.

So in that spirit, A few things I will never be too old for...

Laughing. I plan to cackle all the way to my grave and then some. Giggles, chuckles, bittersweet guffaws, prankster snickers, belly laughs..bring it!

Love. I want to keep loving my kick ass husband, my family, my friends, the random stranger that makes me smile...till I'm as annoying as a treacly Valentines day card.

Writing. I won't always blog, I already go back and forth on this one - my fingers hovering above the delete button on my online accounts every day. But I'll always write, even if I'm the only one that sees it. Sometimes I don't even know my own thoughts until I've read what I've written.

Sex. You know how you see old people that you can tell are frisky and it kind of grosses you out? I'm totally gonna gross you out as I figure out how to parlay my walker into a senior stripping pole.

Reading. I couldn't stop this one if I tried. Apparently, I need books like some people need..oh air. I'll chalk it up to a form of Librarian Meditation. A zen that can only be reached through reading a really great story.

Hoping. The world is awesome. And the world is shitty. When it's awesome, you hope for it to never end. When it's shitty, you hope to God it ends soon. But either way, you are never too old for hope.

And that is all I know folks. Keep a balance of I'm Too Old For That Shit and I'm Never Too Old For That Shit. Oh, and a good bra - after 35 you really need a good bra.


Gwen said...

Your birthday! I'm so sad I'm going to miss it! We could laugh and love and have sex. Maybe not that last one with each other. But. You know.


jerseygirl89 said...

Happy birthday! I turned 40-1 in July and I love your philosophy.

Cozy said...

I knew your priorities were good when you put pizza first. Happy birthday.

Lotta said...

Gwen - It's good to be missed, thank you. Wish you were here too, hardcore!

Jersey - Thank you and happy bday to you!

Cozy - Pizza is always first. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Beautiful - love Todd

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!! Love ya!

Aunt Nell

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Sister! I hope you have a fabulous day and wonderful year filled with love and laughter!

Tela -

Lotta said...

Thanks guys!

LSL said...

Happy, happy birthday! 39 has been fantastic for me - I have to admit it just keeps getting better and better. And you already seem like the kind of person who is definitely going to make all of these "never too old for"'s come true. :)

Lotta said...

LSL - Thanks baby! It's been a great birthday so far and I'm confident 39 will be an awesome year!