The world spins off it's axis for me sometimes. Too much on my to do list, too little money in the account, too much muchness. And when this happens, it feels like I see life through the paper lens of one of those pretty spinning lamps that casts shadows on the wall. All these pictures flying past my field of vision and I can't seem to focus enough on any one lovely perspective enough to enjoy.
And when I'm spinny, sometimes doing simple tasks seem tricky. For example, I clean the living room and then the kids mess it up. So I clean the living room and then the kids mess it up. So I clean the living room and then the kids mess it up.
So I sit in the corner whimpering and clutching my bottle of Febreeze furniture polish.
Husband has this innate ability to restore order to our lives. He walks in the door from work and orders the kids to go clean their rooms in a firm, kind voice. When they bring out the "whine", the deadly tone that pierces my ears like an unholy white noise that makes me think "Make it stop, make it stop!" he shrugs. As if to say, "You can waste our time whining our you can get started with what I asked. Because we both know that's what is going to happen in the end." And they listen. They listen! And they go tidy their rooms, and he pries the rag from my shaky hands, cleans the living room...and it stays clean.
And I stand there, slack jawed and impressed. Even though I've seen this scene play out before. When I passed him in the hallway of our high school for the first time I felt this wave of relaxed confidence come off of him. When the caterer forgot to show up on our wedding day he got me to stop grinding my teeth and to enjoy the company and open bar till it was solved. When I cut the tip off my newborn's finger during a nail trimming and screamed, "I ruined him!" He assured me that I did not in fact destroy our first child's chances of a normal life with my careless grooming. When I am exhausted with worry and he holds me and everything gets still.
He is calm. And quiet. And kind. And I am still impressed.