When I first started this blog there were a few topics percolating in my head. I had maimed myself trying to trim my bikini line. I wanted to confess my deep and shameful love for Vicodin. And I wanted to talk about how I wrote "I wiped up anal butter" on my bath towels.
Good topics. Riveting news. And there was no way in hell I was going to use my actual name as a byline. At the time I was doing Weight Watchers and my screen name was Lottajunkinthetrunk. Folks on the message boards addressed me as "Lotta" instead. As in, "No Lotta, if you deep fry the turkey it is not still only 2 points per serving."
So I went with Lotta as my pseudonym. I liked it! It had a Midwestern sound, a friendly lilt to it. And I made "Lotta" be the author of this blog. The most important benefit being that any employer or mischief maker would be hard pressed to Google my real name and find me via this blog.
And also, I dislike my real name, Tanya. Always have. As much as I want to associate it with the Tanya that appears in the movie Dr. Zhivago, produced a few years before I was born, I can't. I hear it and I think of Tanya Harding (notorious knee cap smasher), Tanya Tucker (country singer and pill popper) and now Tanya Skagle (pimp on HBO series Hung).
But then a funny thing happened, my blog life started to merge with my real life. I got to go to Blogher conferences and meet amazing people in the flesh and I wanted to introduce myself as myself. Folks from my everyday life had started to read my blog too. And old high school and junior high friends figured out that Mom O Matic was mine. The gig was up!
To add confusion to the matter I met my birth mother and learned my foster care name was "Michelle Lee Bradley". An odd mix of Southern and English those names are. Sort of like putting a flaming Dr. Pepper next to a pint of Lager.
But it's time to consolidate and just go with Tanya. Lotta - you served me well when I wrote this blog privately, and you will likely always have a lot of junk in your trunk. Michelle Lee - I am ever so grateful that I did not have to keep you as a name and sound like I was a cast member of the sitcom Dallas.
So it's just Tanya, author of Mom O Matic, wife of husband, mother to daughter and son. Failing, succeeding, loving, growing, fretting and surviving. Tanya.